My best friend....

My best friend... for a long time.... it was cigarettes. The tempting nicottine that was always there for me. It was a friend I could always count on, a friend that never betrayed me and always had my back. That is until he tried to kill me. Then I had to drop him... in a hurry. Now, it seems, I have found a new best friend, the only one I can really count on in my life right now, the one who is there for me when I need him, the only one who doesn't have his own "shit" or "plans" or "alterior motives"... it's alcohol. I know I have high standards, but are they so high that only addictive behaviors will do?? I know I'm not always the easiest person to deal with, but is this what my life has become?? I know I'm not an alcoholic.. I don't eat, breathe and sleep alcohol. I don't have to have it every day, but I am depending more and more on it. It has become more and more important to me as a tool to get by, my best friend that I rely on to get through the end of today and face tomorrow. I wish more than anything I had a person that I could really rely on, that could take this evil place. And I hope that is my future very soon.... until then... cheers.