Road Rage

I think I might have some road rage issues. Tonight, I got so pissed off at this guy, seriously you won't believe what I did.
Let me start at the beginning.
I was driving home from work, minding my own business, just cruising in my own lane when I get to an area where traffic enters from my right. Now mind you they have their own lane to enter the freeway on. So I'm just plugging along (okay, let's get serious. It's a 65... I'm going 73,74 maybe) and this asshole decides that he wants to get over into my lane. So he just puts his turn signal on and gets over... totally cutting me off, causing me to SLAM on my brakes so I don't hit him. Like as long as you put your turn signal on, you can do what ever you want to do. If that's the case, I'm just going to say please and then take that new Louis purse home with me. I mean that's how it works right??
So needless to say I am now pissed and riding his ass. So after doing that for a couple of minutes, I tell my boyfriend, whom I am on the phone with, to write this license plate number down. I then give him the truck's plate number, make and model that I am stalking. Then my road rage really takes over. I pull along side him... and flip him off. Ohh... but it doesn't end there. Then I get back behind him... and ride his ass for a few more minutes. Before I speed away. Good news, I didn't get shot. Bad news, I think I might have some anger management and road rage issues. I'm thinking about getting a bumper sticker.. "Don't fuck with this mentally unstable driver". Just a warning for all you out there... stay out of my way!!!

JUST TOO MUCH...

Do you ever just feel like you can't win? I am too needy... too crazy.. too impulsive... too anger management. Consequently, no one wants to hang out with me, even my own boyfriend. He thinks I am more than difficult, impossible. In fact, at times, I think he simply avoids me. Here's what I know. No.. you know what... right now.. I'm so angry, I don't know what I know. My boyfriend hates me. He thinks I am always over-reacting... he thinks I blow everything out of proportion. Let's break it down to what this fight is really about.. I have super bad PMS. I mean uncontrollable emotions... anger-management issues... I am out of control. I know it.. I can feel it... I realize it. I am well aware. Listen, I would have loved the opportunity to just go home and be at home in my comfort zone... and not have to worry about anyone else... any other interactions. But unfortunately that was not my lot in life today. My bf was all about hanging out with our friends... grilling steaks (yumm... did I mention I was a vegetarian??) and drinking scotch with the boys. Good for him.. but do I have to be involved because.. let's face it... I am in no condition to "kick it". I end up going to our friends house where my fave gf is not feeling her man either, makes it so much easier for me. We just hide out... I cry...
I cry because I feel like I am a failure... a failure for not finding him a job by now, a failure because he is not happy, a failure because he wishes more than anything he were not here.
Everyday I wake up and (ps I don't pray) but I wish that I have the strength to make it through the day. Bottom line... I am broke... more than I would ever like to admit. Would I love my bf to win Top Chef??? Would I just love my bf to get a job?? Hell Yea!!... but you wanna know what's most important to me?? Cheesy as it sounds.. that when he goes to bed at night... there is NO doubt in is mind that he wants to be with me... that we have fun together.
Of course all that also causes us pleanty of tension, I know he wants more and sometimes he takes that anger and agression out on me, he makes rude comments and then says he is kidding but I know they are designed to sting. I brought him here. To this big desert oasis wherer he still hasn't found work or a lot of his own friends. No matter what he tells you, he is bitter.. unhappy... probably angry.. and on the other side of all those emotions... ME!! Welcome to Arizona!