What is normal??

You know what the difference between you and me is?? You wake up every morning, and know exactly who you are, feel exactly like yourself. I, on the other hand, have to work for it. Sometimes I wake up with a migraine that makes it so I can't think straight and I am not my sharp, whitty self. Sometimes it is simply that I am easily irritable, short-tempered, easily confused, sluggish and simply unhappy... not me, until I take my morning medicine. It's sad. It's sad to not feel like yourself, the fun, energetic person that people used to love to be around, without medication. And it's sad to feel those characteristics slip away as my medication wears off. I don't take medication to medicate myself. I take medication so that I can feel like myself again.
When you are dealing with what I am dealing with (Just for the record, I have been diagnosed with mild depression, post traumatic stress disorder, panic disorder, anxiety disorder and severe PMS) feeling normal and finding a balance, is a difficult task. One that I wake up every day, and work really hard to do.

A Million Little Pieces

I'm not really sure how I got here, but I know it's a place I certainly thought I would never be. I have always loved my job. I love what I do, the fast pace of it, the way things are constantly changing, even the pressure. But more than that, I loved the people that I worked with. They were more than co-workers, they were friends. And now, things are completely different. I don't know who to trust, don't know who is on my side, but worst off, I feel incredibly alone. Ever been in a room full of people and just felt like you were standing in the middle of the Sahara Desert? I miss the way things used to be, the way we used to treat each other, the way we used to care about each other. I miss my friends. I always told people how lucky I was to have a job that I loved. But what I have realized is maybe it's more important to have co-workers that you love. They are the ones that help you get through the day, good or bad... have your back and always understand what you are going through. I'm so confused... and so sad... sad that my wonderful work world that I totally took for granted has been shattered into a million little pieces, pieces I'm not quite sure will ever come back together again.