Crazy & I didn't even know it

Am I really that crazy?? All this time I have been trying to tell myself that the people who say these things about me, just don't understand. They just don't really support me. They just don't really care. But tonight, I finally realized, I'm pretty sure everyone thinks these things about me. I just have a few select friends and family members who see how hard I am trying and have decided to try to spare me. But the bottom line is... I must be crazy. Crazy and I didn't even know it. It's weird. I know what it is like to feel lost and not like myself and that is totally NOT how I feel now. I feel more like my true self, myself before all this happened than I have in months, yet others still look at me and see a completely different person, and apparently, a person many of them don't like, or are fed up with, or are tired of. Their big complaint is all the same... I repeat myself, over and over, without realizing when to stop or when to let go. I thought I realized when I was doing it, and I was working really hard not to do it. But apparently, it has not been working, because the complaints just keep rolling in. And if they don't come directly to me, they come behind my back. I'm not sure which hurts more. To have your friends tell you how crazy they think you are or to just have them talk about it behind your back. I've tried for weeks... hell months to let these things roll off my back and just focus on me getting better, me feeling better. But the bottom line is, it hurts. It hurts to know people are talking about how crazy you are. And it hurts to not even realize it is happening or know how to fix it. You know what really made me realize it was true... when I asked a friend, who I know is on my side, and she hesitated as she said "no, you don't really do that". How can you not know that you are doing something?? I don't know what's wrong with me... and I don't know how to fix it. It is the story of my life... at least for the past year. I guess it's no wonder I'm crazy.