To Sue or Not To Sue: That is the question

I woke up this morning dreaming about how I could win over a jury... let me take about 17 steps back...
I've been stewing over the idea of suing the orthopedic specialist who missed my blood clot diagnosis and landed me in the hospital.
Let me go back to the beginning... for those of you who know this story... think of this as a choose your own adventure book and start reading again at the stars... for those of you new... continue here.
I fell down the stairs in April, hurt my foot, went to Urgent Care, they X-rayed it, no break, wrapped it up told me to see my doctor if I was still in pain in 5 days.
Sure enough I was, so I went to my doctor who sent me to have an MRI after those results were muddy at best, my doctor sent me to an orthopedic specialist (we are now about 2 weeks post-injury) The orthopedic specialist put me in one of those walking boots, to be worn at all times except for when I was sleeping or showering and sent me to have a CT Scan of my foot (add a week) and then come back to see him. By the beginning of week 4, (my next appointment was Friday, exactly one month after the original injury) I knew something was really wrong. My leg was swollen up to my knee, so swollen and red it was bigger than my thigh and the skin hurt it was pulled so tight. It was so painful there were nights when I would cry and crawl upstairs to bed and cry and scream as I walked down the stairs to work. The orthopedic specialist gave me no pain medication- told me I didn't need it, but I was in so much pain I couldn't bear it and the stuff my other doctor had give me was gone so I called his office four times in 3 days. Once I left a message on a machine that said that it was checked every 10 minutes and someone would get back to me, no one ever did. Once I talked to someone and they said he was in surgery but they would leave him a note. The next day I talked to someone who said there was a note for him but she would leave another one. No one ever called me back. And no one ever asked me what was going on, why I was having so much pain. Apparently, by this point, the symptoms of a blood clot were so apparent that a med student could easily have diagnosed it without even looking at it. Finally I gave up, deciding I would just attend my appointment on Friday and then they would all feel really stupid because they would realize that something was really wrong. They did... but that something turned out to be a blood clot that started in my ankle and went all they way up to mid-thigh. It had been growing for more than three and a half weeks. I had certainly had it the first time I saw this orthopedic specialist. I had also had it long enough to have two pieces break off and travel through my heart and lodge in my right lung. Luckily they were small enough they didn't lodge in my heart because then, I would have died. I was a walking time bomb for three and a half weeks.
***So I have went through a series of emotions about whether or not to sue this doctor. No matter what I still would have gotten the blood clot. It started forming three to five days after the injury. But as my sister, who is now a PA tells me, a blood clot should always be on the top of an orthopedic specialists mind. I was a smoker and on birth control (factors I disclosed to him), two big risk factors added to the fact that he was isolating my leg almost 24 hours a day. All of that and apparently it never occured to him that I could have a blood clot. For me the bottom line is, if he had paid attention, the blood clot would have been caught way earlier and wouldn't have spread to my lungs. And more importantly, I called that office and was ignored. And during that time that I was ignored, I could have died. I understand that everyone makes mistakes and because of how the medical profession works he's never going to write me an apology letter, so I guess I think the closest thing I'm going to get to an apology, is a little bit of money. I don't want to take this guy's license, or put him out of business. But I hope he has learned a lesson. I hope he has learned to listen to his patients. I hope his whole office staff has learned that if a patient makes that many phone calls, someone needs to talk to her. So last night, my sister said that she thinks he realizes that he screwed up and that he would probably just settle out of court with me, but that a jury would probably be unsympathetic if my case went to court, because I did live. So I was thinking about it. And I think she's wrong, I think I could totally make a jury sympathetic to me. I did everything I was supposed to do, lisened to my doctor and when my body told me something was wrong, I tried to call and tell them that and I got no response. I could have died at any second, this doctor is just lucky that I am young and healthy and he made this mistake with me, because that's probably why I didn't. I am a very charasmatic person (plus I cry just thinking about it and juries love tears, right?) and what happened to me could happen to anyone. I could make a jury see that, I'm sure of it. Bottom line, I don't want to go this to go to a jury. But I am leaning more and more toward the suing. He came to see me in the emergency room of the hospital just minutes after they told me I had a blood clot in my leg the size of Texas and he was so arrogant.
He said condscendingly, "So did they tell you about your blood clot?"
"Yes"
"So that's what's really important right now. Why don't you focus on that and then call me in about a week."
As if I didn't realize that his mis-diagnosis didn't land me here. That he could have sent me here 2 weeks earlier and saved me a lot of time and trouble.
This has been life-changing.
Am I better off knowing I have a clotting disorder than not knowing? Absolutely.
But I would have learned that 2 weeks earlier too.
I am now dealing with massive anxiety attacks, that my therapist says are post-traumatic. Would I be dealing with them 2 weeks in?? Who knows??
I feel like we are all allowed to make mistakes, but we also have to be accountable for them. And if I let this guy just walk away... how is he accountable? How is he learning anything from his mistake?
I haven't decided... but you know I am such a big closure girl and I really feel like this would give me some closure.
To sue or not to sue: that is the question...

Let down... and not gently

Every once in a while we all get let down... even by our closest, best, most thoughtful and caring friends. But it doesn't mean I have to like it. When you needed me I dropped everything to be there... to do whatever was needed to make you feel better. To support... to love... And today, I needed you. I needed you to help me feel better. To do me a favor so that I could make it through my day. A favor I asked for way in advance... and you promised you would do. But instead you decided shopping was more important... so you blew me off. You left me to spend the entire day at work in pain... knowing full well what I would be going through. But perhaps even worse... you made my babies suffer... 24 hours with no bathroom breaks... meant two nice big pee spots on my carpet when I got home. And I can't blame them. It's my fault really. They are my responsibility... and I shouldn't have forgotten my meds... but you still let me down. It doesn't mean I don't love you... or that I love you any less... but you picked shopping over me... and that's just a sad fact. One I hope never happens again...
The lesson here my friends... we all make mistakes... we all fuck up... we all make bad choices...
But I think when we put something as stupid as say "shopping" in front of our friends... we are really dropping the ball.
Time to pick it up... learn from our mistakes... make our apologies and move on.
You don't let great friends go over stupid things like this.. but you certainly don't let them slide either.
I just think everyday you should be asking yourself.. what kind of friend do I want to be... and what kind of friend am I being?