I Hate Crazy!

I hate being angry. I hate being irritated. I hate anxiety. But most of all, I hate that I can't control it... any of it. It is the most frustrating feeling ever! Have you ever felt your self getting irritated and irrational? Have you ever felt yourself teetering on the edge of the crazy mountain... realizing you were about to tumble over the side and still not being able to stop it? As if crazy, angry, over-the-top emotions weren't enough... now I can't even find a way to get it in check. It's enough to make a crazy person, crazier! I feel bad for the people that have to deal with me. Especially those who are closest to me, because, inevitably, I end up taking it out on them. And I can see myself doing it... but still I can't stop it. It's like I'm watching my crazy life on tv... I'm watching myself be a bitch to everyone around me. I'm watching me flip out about the littlest thing. I'm watching me get irritated over nothing. And as much as I want me to get it together... I just can't make me do it. I think having the ability to see myself clearly is way worse. You know those people who are annoying but have no idea? Those people who are obnoxious, but think everyone likes them? The people who think they are hilarious, but really they are offensive? Those people are lucky. At least they can continue living their life in their own little "I rock" bubble. I, on the other hand, don't have that luxury. I am well aware that I suck... and can be a real pain in the ass to be around. But even that isn't enough to make me stop. So in the end.. even I am irritated with me. I guess what it all boils down to... is I HATE BEING CRAZY!!!!