So the other night, "J" and I are out to dinner for a friend's birthday. Along for the ride are three of her other friends, you know from a different circle. 2 of them girls, 1 boy. Both girls in serious relationships (1 married, 1 engaged). All of them considerably older than J and I (I would say at least 5 years). (P.S. This is all background information for you, which will become very important when I get to the punch line. When is that happening? Chill out.. I'm getting there)
So.. we're having this lovely dinner.. talking about all sorts of things: getting drunk, relationships, etc. At one point, J and I (who are on one end of the table) are having our own little discussion when suddenly a few words from the other conversation grab our attention. It went a little something like this.
Girl #1-"Abnormal paps... yea. That was how we could always tell which of our friends had been sleeping around."
Girl #2- "Yea, that was always a sure sign of the whores."
Boy- "You know, most of the time those are caused by HPV, the sexually transmitted disease."
At this point, I'm not even sure where the conversation went at that end of the table, but I know how it went on my end... chirp, chirp.
I refused to look up, instead solely focusing my attention on my wine, examining it as I swirled it in my glass, wishing I could take a big pull off the bottle.
All the while, I can feel the tension from J.
You see, both of us have had those "abnormal paps". And both of us of had that lovely conversation with our gynos where we learned we had HPV. So, basically both of us are "those whores". I couldn't look at J for fear of giving away our dirty little secret. (Pun totally intended)
I have several things to say about this...
First, since when has this become dinner conversation? I must admit, I was caught totally off guard. I never thought I would have to worry about such a thing coming up at a birthday dinner.
Second, how the hell does the boy at the table know such things about abnormal paps??
And lastly, there is nothing wrong with being a whore!!
I felt a little defensive and part of me wanted to shout out..."Like 90% of the sexually active population has HPV. One of you probably has it and doesn't even know it!!" But the more sane part of me just wanted to hide. Should we feel ashamed we have HPV? I've known I've had it for years now, and so I have come to terms with it, and the whore-ish-ness that gave it to me. I actually look at it like this, for all the guys I have slept with, and all the times I was a whore... I feel pretty damn lucky to just have HPV, an STD that increases your risk of cervical cancer but that's about it. I just have to be dilligent about my yearly check-ups, which I am.
I hope that HPV is not like the new "in" dinner party conversation, but if having it means I was a whore... the honest answer is "yes-sometimes I was". Should I feel bad, maybe. But instead I just kinda feel like I bet I have a lot better stories than you do.
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7 comments:
According to the CDC:
"Approximately 20 million Americans are currently infected with HPV, and another 6.2 million people become newly infected each year. At least 50% of sexually active men and women acquire genital HPV infection at some point in their lives."
Not quite 90%, yo. But, that neither here nor there. I thought knowledge of normal and abnormal paps was common, especially among men that have had any kind or serious or long term relationship with a woman. Vah-jay-jay health is very important!
i knew ace would read this! haha. just for the record, the CDC says "at least" 50% because men can't be tested and women are generally only tested when a pap comes back abnormal. you can have HPV your whole life without developing precancerous cells. My doc says official numbers are conservative, and common estimates among docs are closer to 80-90% of sexually active people in their 20s.
as for the post - totally nailed it, lawless. i felt all the same things... and our stories ARE better!! haha. :)
More like 80% by age 50 for women and 50% for men by age 50, J. It'll be interesting to see if the HPV vaccine helps.
how can they possibly know that number for men? unless you're including that icky kind of hpv that causes warts? men can't be tested for the other kind.
p.s. lawless, posted a blog with links to both brothel and dinner stories. expanding your reader base, sister! :)
I love you, whore and I believe that anyone who has attended a normal college is partially a whore and anyone who gets there dinner paid for and then even kisses the person who paid is a whore also. Needless to say, we are all a little whore-ish at times and I am proud to say that I was and sometimes still am.
j, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_papillomavirus is where they have all the stats. I know that it is maintained by users, but they have cited reliable sources for the numbers.
ace, i don't doubt those stats are out there on the internet. i'm just saying lawless and i are gonna go with our docs on this, since it is their field.
incidentally, we have a small army of other friends with hpv who have been given the same information we have.
if you think about it, those wiki stats don't even add up - 80% of women, but only 50% of men? that's a pretty extreme discrepancy. plus, again, men can't be tested for it!
also, the vaccine covers 4 strains out of DOZENS, so i have doubts about its effectiveness.
you might consider we chicks who have this have done our research and know what we're talking about.
IM me if you want to debate it some more, so we don't take over the living lawless blog.
p.s. you know i still love you, right? ;)
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