Daddy

The first man to ever hold my hand.
The first man to kiss me goodnight.
The first man to soothe me to sleep.
The first man to ever make me feel safe.

The first man to encourage my dreams.
The first man to make me realize how special I am.
The first man to tell me to settle for nothing less than success.
The first man to believe I was more than a housewife.

The first man to tell me I was beautiful.
The first man to instill in me a sense of self worth.
The first man to make me understand what I deserved from the people in my life.
The first man to pick me up and dust me off when I was let down.

The first man to wipe away my tears.
The first man to tell me it was going to be alright and really make me believe it.
The first man who could make me feel better without saying a word.
The only man who has yet to break my heart.

My dad...
My friend...
My confidante...
The man I've always admired, looked up to and felt lucky to have.

Are you feeling lucky???

So I'm reading this book called "The Survivors Club" by Ben Sherwood (I highly recommend it!). It's all about facing a crisis whether it be car accident, serious illness, injury, violent crime, financial trouble, etc and coming out on top. Not only surviving, but thriving. I'm in the chapter entitled The Science of Luck. Basically, it's all about how much luck plays into surviving any of lives difficult situations. The book is based on interviews with survivors and studies done by more psycho-somethings than I can count. Anyway, part of this chapter talks about the differences between lucky and unlucky people, claiming that there is such a thing, but that we create our own luck. Lucky people expect good things to happen to them, they don't miss any of life's opportunities and they listen to their hunches. But it also says that lucky people see that even the bad things in their life could have been worse and are always looking at the postive side. It totally reminded me of my friend K who just got laid off of work and still has the most fantastic attitude. When I talk to her, she says she really believes she is going to better because of this. And a year from now, she will be thankful it happened. The most amazing responses. That is what I am totally missing. I think I am totally one of those "woe is me" type of people. Like with my broken ankle (P.S. Still broken, still have walking cast), I totally have the "why the f did this happen to me?" thing going. I don't see a light or a positive side. I feel like I already did my time in the hospital with the blood clot and spent months trying to get my life back on track and then this?? That's just not fair!!! See... nothing positive.
And then I read a part of the book that really got me thinking. It was all about this woman who was allegedly the "injury queen". She had more broken bones and near death experiences than you would think anyone could take. She was like a cat with 9 lives! So she decided to look into her accident prone-ness and along the way discovered several studies which suggest that people "who experience repeated accidents often suffer from psychological disorders like depression and anxiety." Sound familiar?? Both problems I am being treated for right now, problems I didn't have before the first hospitalization. She realized that somewhere along the line she figured out that getting hurt provided her with a kind of nurturing, that she didn't have to be totally responsible, and that the physical pain allowed her a reason to cry that other people would understand. I don't know that I believe I totally fit into all of that, but it is interesting... and kind of scary to think about. Could I have let myself get hurt???
I'll leave you with one last thought about being lucky. Studies show that accident prone-ness does exist... and the people most at risk tend to be more hyperactive, impulsive, neurotic, extroverted and inclined to use alcohol or drugs.
So now... are you feeling lucky???