Whore vs. Wife

About a year ago, my friend "J" and I were having drinks. We were discussing past relationships, flings, guys that are interested in us now, etc. when we realized that men, all men, whether they admit it or not classify women in two categories. The whores... and The wives. The whores are the girls they find attractive (especially at 2am) The women they are pretty sure will sleep with them on the first date. The chicks they view as adventurous, strong-willed and wild in bed. The girls every guy wants to bang. But that's where it ends. Then there are the wives. They are the sweet, kind, caretakers. The girls that would make you homemade chicken noodle soup if you were sick. The girls that you could picture having your children. The women you want to marry. It goes like this, a lot of times guys just aren't ready for the wives, so they go from whore to whore to whore. Fullfilling their dirty needs, waiting to grow up. And then when they do, they start looking for a wife... leaving the whores in the dust. And here in lies the problem. We whores are datable. We could make a good impression on the parents. We could be a great wife. But men have already catergorized us as only the whore, a role they can not seem to see past. For a long time, I thought all men believed in this. And that I was destined to be someone's whore for the rest of my life, never having the opportunity to be looked at as a wife. And then I met the love of my life. The man who appreciates the fact that I was wild, in and out of the bedroom. Who likes that I am strong-willed, don't cook, and won't ever drive a mini-van. I found a man who thinks there is absolutely no reason a whore can't be a wife. His favorite line is "A lady on the streets and a freak in the sheets". He accepts me for exactly who I am... wanting nothing more and nothing less. So the point: Men-Open your fucking eyes. Stop thinking there are only 2 categories of women. Start realizing that if you looked at that whore as more than a whore, you might actually get incredible sex for the rest of your life! And Women-Embrace who you are. If you are a whore, accept it, love it, flaunt it, never change it and never settle for a man who can't see it's the whores that make the best wives!!!

Minutes...

I've been waiting for this day for so long, it feels like forever. (Really it's been 4 months... 120 days... 2880 hours... 172800 minutes... you get the idea). Sometimes it seemed so far away I thought it would never come, sometimes I thought there was no way in hell I could make it, sometimes I dreamed it was already here. And now here it is, and I feel like a ball of emotions. I'm so excited, so excited to finally be with him, feel his arms around me, kiss him, hold him, smell him, talk to him face to face. So excited to show him my world, for him to really be a part of my life. But at the same time, I'm a little afraid. What if the real life relationship, isn't as good as the phone romance. What if he isn't as attracted to me, or I to him? What if the real sex isn't as good as the phone sex? What if he gets here and we have nothing more to say? What if the sparks that I felt falling in love with him over the phone, don't exist in the real world? What if I created this whole romance in my head, what if it really isn't there? I know it sounds silly, but in my head everything is perfect (at least as perfect as things can be). We are meant to be together. We figure out a way to make our two lives one... we are soul mates. This is the first real test of that theory. And I am so afraid it will just turn out to be wishful thinking. You know how sometimes things are so great, you are afraid to move, or change for fear it will all fall apart?? Like athletes who wear the same socks til they lose. We are just so good, so in love long distance, I don't want it to all come tumbling down. I know it's crazy and that if we really are soul mates, it will be even better in person. This will only make our love stronger, but I'm still kind of nervous. In three short hours I will know. I will know the minute I see him, the minute I touch him, the minute I kiss him. They are the minutes I have been counting down to for 4 long months. The minutes I can simply not wait for... the minutes that I hope last forever.

Addiction

Addictions... I was thinking about addiction and how I truly believe some people just have an addictive personality, are easier addicted than others. I think I definitely fit into that category. So I decided to make a list of my addictions. Why? I don't know, but it seemed like fun.

Cigarettes- Past
Chap Stick- Present
Cell Phone- Present
Caffeine- Present
Birth Control- Past, I didn't realize I was addicted to "the pill" until they took it away from me. But now that I am experiencing what I can only believe is withdrawl symptoms, I must admit yet another addiction.
Text Messaging- Present, Seriously I used to be one of the haters. But I must admit, now I love it. It's so quick, you don't have to have time for a conversation and you can do it on your own time.
This Blog- Present, It started because someone asked me what my dream job would be and I said a columnist, where I could write about whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want. And then I decided, why don't I just start a blog, my own online column. And since I can't drink right now, I have a lot of free time on my hands... so here we are!! Thanks for supporting my new addiction!!

Lame!!!

So the other day I was writing this story about a 64-year-old man who was hit by a run-a-way car while sitting at a bus stop. Now he is in the hospital in critical condition. And I was thinking to myself "I feel so bad for that poor old man." Then later it hit me. My dad could be that poor old man. My dad is 64-years-old. And I was thinking, "I wonder if you would call a 64-year-old elderly??" I would never call my dad elderly. It just re-enforced what I guess I already knew. My work world... and my real world really can't co-exist. In order to deal with the bad, the ugly, the sad, the disturbing, the heartbreaking stories that we cover on a daily basis. In order to see what would make a "good" story. You have to be able to seperate yourself from the emotions. Otherwise we would spend all our time crying, cursing god, or trying to hang ourselves. Don't get me wrong. It's not like that is all we cover, but it is a good portion of it. And you sort of have to become a little desensitized, or risk losing your mind. But it really boils down to this... somewhere, someone loves every person in the stories we tell.

I just read through that... and that was really lame. So lame I totally thought about deleting it, but then I kinda felt like that was cheating. I thought it, believed it was blog worthy and wrote it. So, now I'll post it... but I will not be proud of it!!

Paybacks are a BITCH!

If you are anything like me, over the years, you have come to realize what a pain in the ass you used to be. (Yes, I used the past tense and I meant past tense. If you think I'm bad now, you should have seen me then!) I spent the majority of my teenaged years pouting, picking fights and causing problems. Especially for my mom. We couldn't have a conversation without screaming, crying and slamming doors. I look back at now with embarressment at how much grief and how many headaches I must have caused her. But, I also realize now that there are so many things I must have just tucked away, so many rude comments, things I never should have said, that I decided were not worth remembering. Luckily my mom has not forgotten. And every once in a while, she whips one out... just to remind me of what a stubborn, selfish, bitch I was. This one... well... this one may take the cake. The conversation goes like this...
Mom: So I was out to dinner with my book club... you know my new book club I'm in. (Before we go any farther, let me point out I'm from Minnesota and yes my mom has the accent!! Read it again, be sure to stress the vowels!!!)
Me: Uh huh. (Truthfully I don't remember, but sometimes it's just better to play along!)
Mom: One of the ladies was talking about her son who is getting ready to go to college and he is so stressed out he has actually broken out in hives. Can you believe it? You remember how stressed out you were trying to make college decisions???
Me: Not really.
Mom: You don't? You were a real pain. I mean I remember at one point telling you that you didn't have to go to college right away. You could take a year off and figure things out. And do you remember what you said to me?
Me: No, Mom... (Say it again, really exasperated... because that's how I did it.--Sidebar: Maybe I am still a big bitch??!!!)
Mom: You don't?
Me: No, Mom... (Even more exasperated... the point of frustration. Is this going anywhere?--Sidebar: It's official... I am still a bitch. See this is why I do this, it's like looking in a mirror. How do you people put up with me?)
Mom: You said to me, "I'm going to college Mom. I'm going to make something out of myself, unlike you!"
Me: Silent (And if you know me, speechless is never an issue.)
Me: (Finally) I said that?
Mom: Yes, you said that.
Me: I totally don't remember that. (Stammering) I'm so sorry Mom. Wow! I was a really big bitch.
Mom: It's okay. It did get you moving though. You started making decisions. (She laughs, maybe after 27 years of dealing with me, that's all you can do... laugh???)
Mom: I told my friend she might want to try it though. It worked for you.

Unbelievable huh?? It's amazing how easy it is to forget the horrible things you do or say, especially to the people who love you the most. That my friends is why I have always said if I ever have children, no girls. I know I will get one just like me. And there is no way I would make it through a mini-me. At least one of us wouldn't make it through. It's also why I think my mom has always hoped I would have a girl... because we all know, as the saying goes... Paybacks are a Bitch. (Just like I used to be!)