"Easy" Happy Birthday

My day... the day dedicated just to me... Yet all day I felt like shit. I felt neglected, alone, dismissed, forgotten. All around me there were birthday parties for everyone else. People were being celebrated, loved ones planned great get-togethers for everyone else's birthday. But there was nothing for me. I could have gone to all of these other people's birthdays, but then what... I would be the birthday girl crashing someone else's party? I would be the girl trying to steal someone else's thunder? I would be the one who needed to ride on someone else's party coat-tail's because I had none of my own?? I got so many birthday text messages and facebook messages... but it got me thinking. Do we live in a world of technology that allows us to be "easy" friends? I mean how easy is it to shoot a text or a facebook note to a friend wishing them a "happy birthday". I got dozens of them. But none of them came with a "what are you doing for your birthday tonight?" "I really want to celebrate with you." Only two people, only two really good friends made it a priority to say they wanted to see me today. And one went as far as to say she would do whatever the hell I wanted, just to make sure that I could have a celebration. Am I just being a complete bitch? Am I expecting too much? Asking for too much? I guess I just feel like birthdays are supposed to be really special. I have always felt that way. I have always made it a priority to be there, to celebrate, to plan something really nice and special for my friends and family on their birthdays. But I just didn't feel like anyone stepped up this year to do that for me. It was disappointing. And depressing. On top of the fact that I had to work on my birthday. Something that I shouldn't have had to do, but because of my recent schedule change, made a necessity. I had been looking forward to having this birthday off for a long time, since I usually always have to work on my birthday and am never able to take it off. I think realizing that I had to work today, just brought back all of the feelings of why I am in this position to begin with. I also thought that one of my best friends forgot my birthday, because I had talked to her numerous times in the past few days and she hadn't mentioned anything. In the end, when I got home, there was flowers with a nice card from her. But all day I felt very disappointed and let down. On top of it all, I'm PMS-ing... which doesn't help anything. But I guess the bottom line is, I wish someone would have planned something for me, made me a priority. And by today... it was just too late. My feelings were already hurt, I was already depressed and I already felt let down. Maybe I'm just a pouter... but I guess that's what I am. I just know how special birthdays are... and how special birthdays should be treated. Maybe 30 will be better....