What? Nothing to say!

I have nothing to say... I'm on this wonderful, relaxing vacation... hanging out with the man that I love. I have no stress, no work, no responsibilities... nothing to bitch about... NOTHING TO SAY! What if this were my life?? Would I get bored? Totally! Or maybe, more likely, I would find something to bitch about. But right now it's. Sleep in... hike to gorgeous lookout... go to beach... go to pub and watch Cardinals win!!... go home... take a nap... take a shower with my boyfriend... get ready... go have sushi and saki... come home have sex and go to bed. Next day, sleep in... get up... go to beach... take 2 hour walk on beach... have my chef boyfriend cook dinner for me and his family (including his two nephews who are the cutest things ever!!!)... hang out with my boyfriend... have sex... go to bed. I mean... I could really get used to this life!!
We all know that's a lie... I would go stir crazy and start tearing things up. But for now, I feel I have earned this vacation, I am loving this vacation and I am taking full advantage of this vacation!!! I've had no migranes.... you think that's a sign?? Not to worry though... I'll be back to my bitchy... sarcastic... whitty... none-of-my business blogs soon... until then... relax... close your eyes... get yourself a beer... and image the waves rushing over your toes in the sand... AHH... PARADISE!!!

Penis Envy

So I'm out with a couple of my girlfriends... and they have had a few (too many). I am still on my restricted drinking plan (i.e. way too sober!- but hey, at least I'm drinking at all!!!) So anyway, one of my girlfriends says that this guys that she is "seeing" has sent her a very inappropriate picture (he is out of town right now). So, of course I want to see it. I doesn't take much cajoling. She's drunk and well, I am very convincing. So she shows us his rock hard penis, fully erect. Nice picture. But all it makes me think is... WTF. I have been in a long distance relationship for months... I have sent pleanty of dirty pictures... we have our fair share of phone sex, but I have yet to receive a penis picture from my BOYFRIEND. And this little... I don't even know what to call him... of hers, is already giving it up. Once again... WTF? So of course, when I talk to my boyfriend on my way home that night I ask... WTF? He insists he has offered numerous times and I have shot him down. What???? Me turn down dick? We all know that does not happen. So I make it perfectly clear that I want a fully erect penis picture ASAP!
So this morning... my text message alert goes off... and I see it's from him. I can hardly contain my excitement!!! I open it up to a fully hard penis picture. Ahhh!!! Life is fair again. Under the picture... he has written "Good Morning Wood!" Funny... cute... great sex... and he loves me... man I'm lucky!!
So I call him immediately and say "I can not believe you just sent me a picture of your penis. That is so inappropriate."
"You told me to", he protests (I can hear him getting irritated)
"I would never say such a thing", I respond, before I burst out laughing. Then I tell him how much I love it!!!
So I was telling my girlfriend about the whole story this morning, and she said... it's funny. Some women get jealous when their friends get flowers or gifts from boys... you get upset over penis pictures. That's right... I guess I just have penis (picture) envy!!!