Wednesday, December 31, 2008
The Worst Mom Ever!
Let's face it... I am the worst mom ever. I was gone for 9 days. Then I came home to my babies for only 8 days and now I am preparing to leave again... FOR 18 DAYS!!! My poor babies. I feel awful, the guilt is eating away at me. And what's worth, they are treating me like a queen... showering me with love and affection. If they were upset I left them for days on end, they certainly aren't acting like it. But what about when I do it to them again. I have never left them alone for this long. I can't bear the thought of them hating me when I return!! They are my boys, my babies. They soothe me when I have had a bad day. They are always there for me. All they want to do, is be there for me. Their love is unconditional. They... are my dogs. If you have them, you understand. They are your babies. And right now, I feel like the worst dog mom ever!!!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Marriage Secrets
What makes a marriage last? And not just last... but happy? These are questions I have been pondering and not just because I am home visiting my parents who have been married for more than 30 years... and certainly don't always have a happy marriage. They bicker and pick on each other and sometimes, I think, intentionally piss each other off. Or my newly married friends, who seemed to have the perfect relationship and are having problems now, not problems that would break up their marriage, but things are no longer perfect. Then there is my two girlfriends who each got married and divorced in a year. I'm just wondering, does marriage ruin the relationship?? Can things be all fine and dandy until you throw that marriage thing in there? I know relationships are not all fun and games. I understand there are fights, tears and words you wish you could take back. But, I guess my question is, do the trying times get enhanced once you slip the wedding band on?? Is is because we stop trying so hard? Now we have the guy/girl and so we don't have to impress as much (bring flowers, remember to compliment, listen). Or perhaps those fights were happening all along behind the scenes. Perhaps when people get married, they just get vocal about their problems. You always hear men or women bitching about their spouses, like it's funny. It's a joke. Bottom line is... I don't want to be one of those couples... married or not... laughing about how much I dislike my partner. I don't expect things to be roses and sunshine always, but I do want to love the man that I am with for the rest of my life. I want to be happy with him for the rest of my life. I want to feel lucky to have him for the rest of my life. I want to remember how I feel about him now... forever. Can that be done?? What is the secret to a happy marriage???
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
To Sue or Not To Sue: That is the question
I woke up this morning dreaming about how I could win over a jury... let me take about 17 steps back...
I've been stewing over the idea of suing the orthopedic specialist who missed my blood clot diagnosis and landed me in the hospital.
Let me go back to the beginning... for those of you who know this story... think of this as a choose your own adventure book and start reading again at the stars... for those of you new... continue here.
I fell down the stairs in April, hurt my foot, went to Urgent Care, they X-rayed it, no break, wrapped it up told me to see my doctor if I was still in pain in 5 days.
Sure enough I was, so I went to my doctor who sent me to have an MRI after those results were muddy at best, my doctor sent me to an orthopedic specialist (we are now about 2 weeks post-injury) The orthopedic specialist put me in one of those walking boots, to be worn at all times except for when I was sleeping or showering and sent me to have a CT Scan of my foot (add a week) and then come back to see him. By the beginning of week 4, (my next appointment was Friday, exactly one month after the original injury) I knew something was really wrong. My leg was swollen up to my knee, so swollen and red it was bigger than my thigh and the skin hurt it was pulled so tight. It was so painful there were nights when I would cry and crawl upstairs to bed and cry and scream as I walked down the stairs to work. The orthopedic specialist gave me no pain medication- told me I didn't need it, but I was in so much pain I couldn't bear it and the stuff my other doctor had give me was gone so I called his office four times in 3 days. Once I left a message on a machine that said that it was checked every 10 minutes and someone would get back to me, no one ever did. Once I talked to someone and they said he was in surgery but they would leave him a note. The next day I talked to someone who said there was a note for him but she would leave another one. No one ever called me back. And no one ever asked me what was going on, why I was having so much pain. Apparently, by this point, the symptoms of a blood clot were so apparent that a med student could easily have diagnosed it without even looking at it. Finally I gave up, deciding I would just attend my appointment on Friday and then they would all feel really stupid because they would realize that something was really wrong. They did... but that something turned out to be a blood clot that started in my ankle and went all they way up to mid-thigh. It had been growing for more than three and a half weeks. I had certainly had it the first time I saw this orthopedic specialist. I had also had it long enough to have two pieces break off and travel through my heart and lodge in my right lung. Luckily they were small enough they didn't lodge in my heart because then, I would have died. I was a walking time bomb for three and a half weeks.
***So I have went through a series of emotions about whether or not to sue this doctor. No matter what I still would have gotten the blood clot. It started forming three to five days after the injury. But as my sister, who is now a PA tells me, a blood clot should always be on the top of an orthopedic specialists mind. I was a smoker and on birth control (factors I disclosed to him), two big risk factors added to the fact that he was isolating my leg almost 24 hours a day. All of that and apparently it never occured to him that I could have a blood clot. For me the bottom line is, if he had paid attention, the blood clot would have been caught way earlier and wouldn't have spread to my lungs. And more importantly, I called that office and was ignored. And during that time that I was ignored, I could have died. I understand that everyone makes mistakes and because of how the medical profession works he's never going to write me an apology letter, so I guess I think the closest thing I'm going to get to an apology, is a little bit of money. I don't want to take this guy's license, or put him out of business. But I hope he has learned a lesson. I hope he has learned to listen to his patients. I hope his whole office staff has learned that if a patient makes that many phone calls, someone needs to talk to her. So last night, my sister said that she thinks he realizes that he screwed up and that he would probably just settle out of court with me, but that a jury would probably be unsympathetic if my case went to court, because I did live. So I was thinking about it. And I think she's wrong, I think I could totally make a jury sympathetic to me. I did everything I was supposed to do, lisened to my doctor and when my body told me something was wrong, I tried to call and tell them that and I got no response. I could have died at any second, this doctor is just lucky that I am young and healthy and he made this mistake with me, because that's probably why I didn't. I am a very charasmatic person (plus I cry just thinking about it and juries love tears, right?) and what happened to me could happen to anyone. I could make a jury see that, I'm sure of it. Bottom line, I don't want to go this to go to a jury. But I am leaning more and more toward the suing. He came to see me in the emergency room of the hospital just minutes after they told me I had a blood clot in my leg the size of Texas and he was so arrogant.
He said condscendingly, "So did they tell you about your blood clot?"
"Yes"
"So that's what's really important right now. Why don't you focus on that and then call me in about a week."
As if I didn't realize that his mis-diagnosis didn't land me here. That he could have sent me here 2 weeks earlier and saved me a lot of time and trouble.
This has been life-changing.
Am I better off knowing I have a clotting disorder than not knowing? Absolutely.
But I would have learned that 2 weeks earlier too.
I am now dealing with massive anxiety attacks, that my therapist says are post-traumatic. Would I be dealing with them 2 weeks in?? Who knows??
I feel like we are all allowed to make mistakes, but we also have to be accountable for them. And if I let this guy just walk away... how is he accountable? How is he learning anything from his mistake?
I haven't decided... but you know I am such a big closure girl and I really feel like this would give me some closure.
To sue or not to sue: that is the question...
I've been stewing over the idea of suing the orthopedic specialist who missed my blood clot diagnosis and landed me in the hospital.
Let me go back to the beginning... for those of you who know this story... think of this as a choose your own adventure book and start reading again at the stars... for those of you new... continue here.
I fell down the stairs in April, hurt my foot, went to Urgent Care, they X-rayed it, no break, wrapped it up told me to see my doctor if I was still in pain in 5 days.
Sure enough I was, so I went to my doctor who sent me to have an MRI after those results were muddy at best, my doctor sent me to an orthopedic specialist (we are now about 2 weeks post-injury) The orthopedic specialist put me in one of those walking boots, to be worn at all times except for when I was sleeping or showering and sent me to have a CT Scan of my foot (add a week) and then come back to see him. By the beginning of week 4, (my next appointment was Friday, exactly one month after the original injury) I knew something was really wrong. My leg was swollen up to my knee, so swollen and red it was bigger than my thigh and the skin hurt it was pulled so tight. It was so painful there were nights when I would cry and crawl upstairs to bed and cry and scream as I walked down the stairs to work. The orthopedic specialist gave me no pain medication- told me I didn't need it, but I was in so much pain I couldn't bear it and the stuff my other doctor had give me was gone so I called his office four times in 3 days. Once I left a message on a machine that said that it was checked every 10 minutes and someone would get back to me, no one ever did. Once I talked to someone and they said he was in surgery but they would leave him a note. The next day I talked to someone who said there was a note for him but she would leave another one. No one ever called me back. And no one ever asked me what was going on, why I was having so much pain. Apparently, by this point, the symptoms of a blood clot were so apparent that a med student could easily have diagnosed it without even looking at it. Finally I gave up, deciding I would just attend my appointment on Friday and then they would all feel really stupid because they would realize that something was really wrong. They did... but that something turned out to be a blood clot that started in my ankle and went all they way up to mid-thigh. It had been growing for more than three and a half weeks. I had certainly had it the first time I saw this orthopedic specialist. I had also had it long enough to have two pieces break off and travel through my heart and lodge in my right lung. Luckily they were small enough they didn't lodge in my heart because then, I would have died. I was a walking time bomb for three and a half weeks.
***So I have went through a series of emotions about whether or not to sue this doctor. No matter what I still would have gotten the blood clot. It started forming three to five days after the injury. But as my sister, who is now a PA tells me, a blood clot should always be on the top of an orthopedic specialists mind. I was a smoker and on birth control (factors I disclosed to him), two big risk factors added to the fact that he was isolating my leg almost 24 hours a day. All of that and apparently it never occured to him that I could have a blood clot. For me the bottom line is, if he had paid attention, the blood clot would have been caught way earlier and wouldn't have spread to my lungs. And more importantly, I called that office and was ignored. And during that time that I was ignored, I could have died. I understand that everyone makes mistakes and because of how the medical profession works he's never going to write me an apology letter, so I guess I think the closest thing I'm going to get to an apology, is a little bit of money. I don't want to take this guy's license, or put him out of business. But I hope he has learned a lesson. I hope he has learned to listen to his patients. I hope his whole office staff has learned that if a patient makes that many phone calls, someone needs to talk to her. So last night, my sister said that she thinks he realizes that he screwed up and that he would probably just settle out of court with me, but that a jury would probably be unsympathetic if my case went to court, because I did live. So I was thinking about it. And I think she's wrong, I think I could totally make a jury sympathetic to me. I did everything I was supposed to do, lisened to my doctor and when my body told me something was wrong, I tried to call and tell them that and I got no response. I could have died at any second, this doctor is just lucky that I am young and healthy and he made this mistake with me, because that's probably why I didn't. I am a very charasmatic person (plus I cry just thinking about it and juries love tears, right?) and what happened to me could happen to anyone. I could make a jury see that, I'm sure of it. Bottom line, I don't want to go this to go to a jury. But I am leaning more and more toward the suing. He came to see me in the emergency room of the hospital just minutes after they told me I had a blood clot in my leg the size of Texas and he was so arrogant.
He said condscendingly, "So did they tell you about your blood clot?"
"Yes"
"So that's what's really important right now. Why don't you focus on that and then call me in about a week."
As if I didn't realize that his mis-diagnosis didn't land me here. That he could have sent me here 2 weeks earlier and saved me a lot of time and trouble.
This has been life-changing.
Am I better off knowing I have a clotting disorder than not knowing? Absolutely.
But I would have learned that 2 weeks earlier too.
I am now dealing with massive anxiety attacks, that my therapist says are post-traumatic. Would I be dealing with them 2 weeks in?? Who knows??
I feel like we are all allowed to make mistakes, but we also have to be accountable for them. And if I let this guy just walk away... how is he accountable? How is he learning anything from his mistake?
I haven't decided... but you know I am such a big closure girl and I really feel like this would give me some closure.
To sue or not to sue: that is the question...
2008- A Look Back
So I was sitting here thinking back on 2008 when I realized what a life-changing year this had been for me...
I nearly died
I had to quit drinking, smoking & birth control, all on the same day
I started having anxiety attacks-daily
I began having the worst PMS ever
Then I got horrible, horrible cramps
Along came the migranes
And the slew of ever-changing medications to try to cure my craziness.
Of course all of this came at a price- a very steep price- so for the first time ever, I went into debt (a place I am very uncomfortable being)
Then in this failing economy we were told no raises, no bonuses, just be lucky we have jobs!
And of course, I can't forget somewhere in the middle of all of that, I met the love of my life- the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. What a year!!!
I just wanted to take a minute to thank the people who have been there through it all... my friends and family, who were there when I was in pain and listened to me bitch, rushed to and never left my hospital bedside, filled the room with flowers, but more importantly gave me the support and love that I so needed at that time. And then in the weeks and months after, when it was like one blow after another, when it seemed like I should be getting better but instead always had a new problem, they were always there to listen to me. And I know so many times I was such a bitch to be around and they never compained (at least not to my face ;-)
Thank you all for being there for me... you know I have such high expectations for all of my friends, you have surpassed them and it will NEVER be forgotten.
To my boyfriend, the love of my life, my rock. The man who the first night I hung out with him, I had a massive anxiety attack and spilled it all... all about how crazy I was. Instead of running (probably like he should have) he rubbed my back and told me it was going to be okay. He still does that to this day. Before we even met, when we were just talking on the phone, that's when I was hospitalized, he sent a real fresh freezer-packed lei to the hospital for me. I couldn't even describe to you how supportive he has been of me and all my pu-pule pills (pu-pule is crazy in Hawaiian!!) And no one has gotten the wrath of my PMS worse than him. I don't know how I would have made it through this year without him. I can't think about trying to make it through this year without him.
I know I am not perfect- I mean I am perfect (insert your laughter) but we are still working on fixing my craziness. I feel like we are finally on the right path, and I just hope you all know that I could NOT have gotten here without you, your love and your support. Whether you knew it your not, there were days I wanted to quit, days I was so frustrated, days I was so over feeling crazy, or being in pain and then one of you, without even knowing, would do something nice and remind me what I was fighting for. I LOVE YOU ALL MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW. I don't have family here... you all are my family... Thank from the bottom of my heart for making what could have been a devestating year.. bearable!
I nearly died
I had to quit drinking, smoking & birth control, all on the same day
I started having anxiety attacks-daily
I began having the worst PMS ever
Then I got horrible, horrible cramps
Along came the migranes
And the slew of ever-changing medications to try to cure my craziness.
Of course all of this came at a price- a very steep price- so for the first time ever, I went into debt (a place I am very uncomfortable being)
Then in this failing economy we were told no raises, no bonuses, just be lucky we have jobs!
And of course, I can't forget somewhere in the middle of all of that, I met the love of my life- the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. What a year!!!
I just wanted to take a minute to thank the people who have been there through it all... my friends and family, who were there when I was in pain and listened to me bitch, rushed to and never left my hospital bedside, filled the room with flowers, but more importantly gave me the support and love that I so needed at that time. And then in the weeks and months after, when it was like one blow after another, when it seemed like I should be getting better but instead always had a new problem, they were always there to listen to me. And I know so many times I was such a bitch to be around and they never compained (at least not to my face ;-)
Thank you all for being there for me... you know I have such high expectations for all of my friends, you have surpassed them and it will NEVER be forgotten.
To my boyfriend, the love of my life, my rock. The man who the first night I hung out with him, I had a massive anxiety attack and spilled it all... all about how crazy I was. Instead of running (probably like he should have) he rubbed my back and told me it was going to be okay. He still does that to this day. Before we even met, when we were just talking on the phone, that's when I was hospitalized, he sent a real fresh freezer-packed lei to the hospital for me. I couldn't even describe to you how supportive he has been of me and all my pu-pule pills (pu-pule is crazy in Hawaiian!!) And no one has gotten the wrath of my PMS worse than him. I don't know how I would have made it through this year without him. I can't think about trying to make it through this year without him.
I know I am not perfect- I mean I am perfect (insert your laughter) but we are still working on fixing my craziness. I feel like we are finally on the right path, and I just hope you all know that I could NOT have gotten here without you, your love and your support. Whether you knew it your not, there were days I wanted to quit, days I was so frustrated, days I was so over feeling crazy, or being in pain and then one of you, without even knowing, would do something nice and remind me what I was fighting for. I LOVE YOU ALL MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW. I don't have family here... you all are my family... Thank from the bottom of my heart for making what could have been a devestating year.. bearable!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Art of Gift Giving
So listen up people... the art of gift giving is not that difficult. Let me GIVE you the basic rules. First of all... it totally does not matter how much money you spend but it does matter THAT YOU THINK ABOUT THE PERSON YOU ARE GIVING THE GIFT TO! All I'm saying is this, put a little time and effort into it. Does the person have a favorite hobby, like to go out to eat, love jewelry, have a favorite store? Think about those things and then act. I say stay away from the gift cards if at all possible, they are impersonal. But sometimes, if someone (like me right now!) needs money, a Visa gift card isn't such a bad gift!!!!
Where is this all coming from... well last night I received a gift of a wine carrying bag, a wine cork, a wine opener and a bottle of wine... from my aunt and uncle who thought I was still on the wagon (still not drinking because of my blood clot and the coumadin). Who in their right f-ing mind would give that gift to someone who is not drinking??? How unthoughtful and just plain rude is that? That's like giving an alcoholic a bottle of jack- "Just for entertaining of course!" WTF. Then, and this is a little thing, but it was a bottle of red. Now, I have drank wine with these people for years and never have I ever drank red. So you would think that they would maybe think to at least give me a bottle of the kind of wine that I actually like (white) but no, even that is too much. My mom reminded me that they are moving so they must just be trying to unload their wine supply. Then she took the bottle of red off my hands and said she would give me money for my favorite bottle of white (which is P.S. $12 with a Safeway club card). BTW... My mom, my sister and my cousin & his wife all got the same gift. If you're not going to bother to give a shit about the person you are giving the gift to, that why bother giving the gift???
Where is this all coming from... well last night I received a gift of a wine carrying bag, a wine cork, a wine opener and a bottle of wine... from my aunt and uncle who thought I was still on the wagon (still not drinking because of my blood clot and the coumadin). Who in their right f-ing mind would give that gift to someone who is not drinking??? How unthoughtful and just plain rude is that? That's like giving an alcoholic a bottle of jack- "Just for entertaining of course!" WTF. Then, and this is a little thing, but it was a bottle of red. Now, I have drank wine with these people for years and never have I ever drank red. So you would think that they would maybe think to at least give me a bottle of the kind of wine that I actually like (white) but no, even that is too much. My mom reminded me that they are moving so they must just be trying to unload their wine supply. Then she took the bottle of red off my hands and said she would give me money for my favorite bottle of white (which is P.S. $12 with a Safeway club card). BTW... My mom, my sister and my cousin & his wife all got the same gift. If you're not going to bother to give a shit about the person you are giving the gift to, that why bother giving the gift???
Living in Guantanamo
So I'm home for the holidays... for those of you who don't know, that's Minnesota.
Let me start at the beginning. After learning my flight was taking off 30 minutes earlier than I had planned, I hauled ass to the kennel to drop off my babies (don't worry, they are dogs!) and then rushed to the airport and through security only to get to my gate and find out I had a 3 hour delay because it was snowing in Minnesota. Guess I didn't have to run huh? Ahh, winter in Minnesota. How I miss it? NOT! But it sure is nice to have snow for Christmas, which is why I come home. So anyway, let's get to the good part. My family picks me up. It's -9 degrees, that of course does not include the wind chill. Those of you who have no idea what a wind chill is... have no idea. Basically what it means is it feels like -30. It's great to be home. We're driving home (my family lets me sit up front because they know what a wuss I am and that seat has butt warmers, I kiss the feet of the man or woman who invented butt warmers!!!) so I say to my dad, "I turned my house down to 72 before I left."
He laughs.
"What?" I asked.
"When we get home our engery saver will probably already be home so that means our house will be at 65, right Jan, isn't that what our energy saver is?? 65??"
I gasp!!!
"Are you kidding me?? Dad prisoners at Guantanamo Bay get better treatment than that!"
"Well Michelle, they are in Cuba. Besides, you are already supposed to be all tucked in your nice warm bed and you don't need the house to be that warm."
"That is unacceptable living conditions", I protest.
"Don't worry", my mom pipes in, "we'll turn it up to 70 while you're here."
Gee thanks I think 70... I live in Arizona and during the winter I keep my house at 76. But I don't want to press my luck so I guess 3 layers at all times it is!! Welcome home.
Now only if the story ended there...
So yesterday... we have a big day. My sister wakes me up to get into the shower. I turn it on, get in and literally 2 minutes later my hot water is gone... I mean gone. So I figure this is like Guantanamo Bay and I better ration. I put the shampoo in, turn the heat up and then jump under the water until it gets too cold. Now I figure I have just minutes of hot water left (the dial is near the end), so I put conditioner in my hair, soap on my face, soap on my body... and turned it all the way up. It was hot for all of two minutes... so I scrubbed as much soap off as I could... and then retreated. Where am I? Is this treatment just for me? Is it a sign I am never to come back?? So in the car to breakfast I tell my mom about my shower encounter.
"Really she says, we just got a new water heater. Your father is going to be pissed."
"Well something is not working right." I respond. "You know that's how you know your shower is over in prison mom, the water gets ice cold. Are you trying to tell me something??"
She just laughs.
This would be enough right... but there is more.
So last night, I go to wash my face, and there is no hot water... NONE. I mean I let the water run for minutes turned all the way up. So my mom comes up and I tell her. (After, of course, I had washed my face with freezing cold water) She says she'll have to leave a note for my dad. Uh-oh. Minutes later, I'm in my room and I hear footsteps (hard, unhappy footsteps going all the way to the basement). My mom comes back later.
"Thanks for telling us about the hot water problem. The pilot light was out on the brand new hot water heater. I hope this doesn't become a problem. That could have made for some cold showers for us tomorrow morning."
So glad I could be here to be your hot water guinea pig!!!
Let me start at the beginning. After learning my flight was taking off 30 minutes earlier than I had planned, I hauled ass to the kennel to drop off my babies (don't worry, they are dogs!) and then rushed to the airport and through security only to get to my gate and find out I had a 3 hour delay because it was snowing in Minnesota. Guess I didn't have to run huh? Ahh, winter in Minnesota. How I miss it? NOT! But it sure is nice to have snow for Christmas, which is why I come home. So anyway, let's get to the good part. My family picks me up. It's -9 degrees, that of course does not include the wind chill. Those of you who have no idea what a wind chill is... have no idea. Basically what it means is it feels like -30. It's great to be home. We're driving home (my family lets me sit up front because they know what a wuss I am and that seat has butt warmers, I kiss the feet of the man or woman who invented butt warmers!!!) so I say to my dad, "I turned my house down to 72 before I left."
He laughs.
"What?" I asked.
"When we get home our engery saver will probably already be home so that means our house will be at 65, right Jan, isn't that what our energy saver is?? 65??"
I gasp!!!
"Are you kidding me?? Dad prisoners at Guantanamo Bay get better treatment than that!"
"Well Michelle, they are in Cuba. Besides, you are already supposed to be all tucked in your nice warm bed and you don't need the house to be that warm."
"That is unacceptable living conditions", I protest.
"Don't worry", my mom pipes in, "we'll turn it up to 70 while you're here."
Gee thanks I think 70... I live in Arizona and during the winter I keep my house at 76. But I don't want to press my luck so I guess 3 layers at all times it is!! Welcome home.
Now only if the story ended there...
So yesterday... we have a big day. My sister wakes me up to get into the shower. I turn it on, get in and literally 2 minutes later my hot water is gone... I mean gone. So I figure this is like Guantanamo Bay and I better ration. I put the shampoo in, turn the heat up and then jump under the water until it gets too cold. Now I figure I have just minutes of hot water left (the dial is near the end), so I put conditioner in my hair, soap on my face, soap on my body... and turned it all the way up. It was hot for all of two minutes... so I scrubbed as much soap off as I could... and then retreated. Where am I? Is this treatment just for me? Is it a sign I am never to come back?? So in the car to breakfast I tell my mom about my shower encounter.
"Really she says, we just got a new water heater. Your father is going to be pissed."
"Well something is not working right." I respond. "You know that's how you know your shower is over in prison mom, the water gets ice cold. Are you trying to tell me something??"
She just laughs.
This would be enough right... but there is more.
So last night, I go to wash my face, and there is no hot water... NONE. I mean I let the water run for minutes turned all the way up. So my mom comes up and I tell her. (After, of course, I had washed my face with freezing cold water) She says she'll have to leave a note for my dad. Uh-oh. Minutes later, I'm in my room and I hear footsteps (hard, unhappy footsteps going all the way to the basement). My mom comes back later.
"Thanks for telling us about the hot water problem. The pilot light was out on the brand new hot water heater. I hope this doesn't become a problem. That could have made for some cold showers for us tomorrow morning."
So glad I could be here to be your hot water guinea pig!!!
Monday, December 15, 2008
Laying down the Law!!!
So my blog has done exactly what I wanted it to do... got people's attention, got people reading, and thinking, and debating. But it seems things are getting a little out of control on Living Lawless (i.e. Sexual Judgments) so as the blog master (I've always wanted to be master of something... ceremony... ju jitsu... S&M- I was just kidding about that last part;-) I'm taking back control!!!
Anyway... it's time for me to lay down the law!!!
Here at Living Lawless... there are a few things you should know..
1. You should always, always agree with what I write, even if I'm ranting and raving and way out of control. You should agree (or at least pretend to)
2. You must have a hatred for photo radar... not dislike... I said hatred. And you must always promise to try and duck tickets... If we don't pay, they don't make money and then maybe they will go away.
3. You must believe that getting new toilet paper and paper towel dispensers as opposed to me getting a raise is ridiculous... enough said.
4. You must never, ever under any circumstances use my blog to go after my friends. My friends are my family here. And we fight like family, we love like family, and we defend each other like family. Take your hatred elsewhere.
5. You must think crazy is cool... because a lot of the time I am!
6. You must think that I am one of the funniest people you know... and email this blog link to as many people as you know... Ready?? Go!!
So... now that we have all agreed on the rules.. and you have signed on the dotted line.. feel free to continue to read my hilarious, honest, open, over-the-top, sometimes boring, but always thoughtful blog. And keep those comments coming...
Anyway... it's time for me to lay down the law!!!
Here at Living Lawless... there are a few things you should know..
1. You should always, always agree with what I write, even if I'm ranting and raving and way out of control. You should agree (or at least pretend to)
2. You must have a hatred for photo radar... not dislike... I said hatred. And you must always promise to try and duck tickets... If we don't pay, they don't make money and then maybe they will go away.
3. You must believe that getting new toilet paper and paper towel dispensers as opposed to me getting a raise is ridiculous... enough said.
4. You must never, ever under any circumstances use my blog to go after my friends. My friends are my family here. And we fight like family, we love like family, and we defend each other like family. Take your hatred elsewhere.
5. You must think crazy is cool... because a lot of the time I am!
6. You must think that I am one of the funniest people you know... and email this blog link to as many people as you know... Ready?? Go!!
So... now that we have all agreed on the rules.. and you have signed on the dotted line.. feel free to continue to read my hilarious, honest, open, over-the-top, sometimes boring, but always thoughtful blog. And keep those comments coming...
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Discriminated, Freezing & Annoyed: Not a good combination!
The Cardinals vs Vikings. Already I was torn, I have loved the Vikings since I was a little girl, but the Cardinals are playing well... and it would be nice to have some good football in the valley. So I ended up wearing a red Adrian Peterson T-shirt. The incognito Vikings fan!! I figured it would be a close game and I would spend the entire time cheering right... WRONG!
So first... It was freezing today. No sun, barely 50-degrees and we were tailgating outside. Sometimes I forget it can get cold in AZ and so I had a jacket but I definitely should have had one more layer on and a hat. So finally we are making our way to the stadium and I am super excited... 1. for the game and 2. to get out of the freezing cold. We get to the lines and the girls have to go through one side, boys through the other, because you have to be patted down. So I get in my line and the guy says to me, you can't take that bag in. Shocked, I respond "What?"
"It's too big."
"What do you mean it's too big??" (I mean I have a fairly large purse, but it's not a duffle bag, and they search them so why does it matter what size it is??)
"It can only be 12 inches, by 12 inches" (First of all, since when?? and second of all why?? That doesn't even make sense. If you are going to search my bag why does it matter how big it is. Do you think I am hiding bomb making materials in here?? Do I look like a purse terrorist to you?)
Then right before my eyes, we see the same man that just yelled at me let another woman with a big purse go through. So we say something to him, and he says "Oh, they'll catch her up there."
So not only is there rule a whole bunch of bullshit, but they are also not enforcing it all the time.
So we switch lines and I try again. Same story here, only this time I run into a very angry woman who says it said it on my ticket and I should already know not to try to bring it in. Where the fuck are we?? Even the airport let's me carry my purse on to the plane???
So after we walk all the way back and stash my purse in one of Andy's friends cars... we are finally allowed into the game. I am super excited. We make our way to our seats... (great seats by the way... club level... that means special!) and immediately I realize the roof is open. It's like 50 fucking degrees... cloudy... and now its freezing in the stadium too!!! Who makes these stupid decisions?? I asked someone who told me the NFL insisted the roof was open for the game, even if it rained. Are you f-ing kidding me?? Isn't that why we have a roof... for when it's too hot, or too cold??
And finally... we were sitting right in front of these drunk Vikings fans (fans who were giving Minnesota a bad name PS) They were so loud... and inappropriate.. and they yelled about everything. And the woman's voice was like nails on a chalkboard. Seriously, I'm all for cheering... standing... clapping when things happen. But I just don't think it's neccessary to always be screaming!! Basically what I am saying is if you have an annoy voice... shut the fuck up!!!
But despite all that, I had a great time...
Vikings spanked the Cardinals.... 35-14... It was like a win-win game for me. Andy was great to hang out with!! And we had some good food.
But seriously... it should not be that difficult to get into a football game (especially one I have a ticket for)... I should not be freezing inside the stadium.. and annoying fans should learn how to shut the fuck up.
((Just one last thing... I read the back of my ticket... and no where did it say that my purse could be no bigger than 12x12... so also... they are f-ing liars!!!
Now I'm really done!!!))
So first... It was freezing today. No sun, barely 50-degrees and we were tailgating outside. Sometimes I forget it can get cold in AZ and so I had a jacket but I definitely should have had one more layer on and a hat. So finally we are making our way to the stadium and I am super excited... 1. for the game and 2. to get out of the freezing cold. We get to the lines and the girls have to go through one side, boys through the other, because you have to be patted down. So I get in my line and the guy says to me, you can't take that bag in. Shocked, I respond "What?"
"It's too big."
"What do you mean it's too big??" (I mean I have a fairly large purse, but it's not a duffle bag, and they search them so why does it matter what size it is??)
"It can only be 12 inches, by 12 inches" (First of all, since when?? and second of all why?? That doesn't even make sense. If you are going to search my bag why does it matter how big it is. Do you think I am hiding bomb making materials in here?? Do I look like a purse terrorist to you?)
Then right before my eyes, we see the same man that just yelled at me let another woman with a big purse go through. So we say something to him, and he says "Oh, they'll catch her up there."
So not only is there rule a whole bunch of bullshit, but they are also not enforcing it all the time.
So we switch lines and I try again. Same story here, only this time I run into a very angry woman who says it said it on my ticket and I should already know not to try to bring it in. Where the fuck are we?? Even the airport let's me carry my purse on to the plane???
So after we walk all the way back and stash my purse in one of Andy's friends cars... we are finally allowed into the game. I am super excited. We make our way to our seats... (great seats by the way... club level... that means special!) and immediately I realize the roof is open. It's like 50 fucking degrees... cloudy... and now its freezing in the stadium too!!! Who makes these stupid decisions?? I asked someone who told me the NFL insisted the roof was open for the game, even if it rained. Are you f-ing kidding me?? Isn't that why we have a roof... for when it's too hot, or too cold??
And finally... we were sitting right in front of these drunk Vikings fans (fans who were giving Minnesota a bad name PS) They were so loud... and inappropriate.. and they yelled about everything. And the woman's voice was like nails on a chalkboard. Seriously, I'm all for cheering... standing... clapping when things happen. But I just don't think it's neccessary to always be screaming!! Basically what I am saying is if you have an annoy voice... shut the fuck up!!!
But despite all that, I had a great time...
Vikings spanked the Cardinals.... 35-14... It was like a win-win game for me. Andy was great to hang out with!! And we had some good food.
But seriously... it should not be that difficult to get into a football game (especially one I have a ticket for)... I should not be freezing inside the stadium.. and annoying fans should learn how to shut the fuck up.
((Just one last thing... I read the back of my ticket... and no where did it say that my purse could be no bigger than 12x12... so also... they are f-ing liars!!!
Now I'm really done!!!))
Friday, December 12, 2008
Let down... and not gently
Every once in a while we all get let down... even by our closest, best, most thoughtful and caring friends. But it doesn't mean I have to like it. When you needed me I dropped everything to be there... to do whatever was needed to make you feel better. To support... to love... And today, I needed you. I needed you to help me feel better. To do me a favor so that I could make it through my day. A favor I asked for way in advance... and you promised you would do. But instead you decided shopping was more important... so you blew me off. You left me to spend the entire day at work in pain... knowing full well what I would be going through. But perhaps even worse... you made my babies suffer... 24 hours with no bathroom breaks... meant two nice big pee spots on my carpet when I got home. And I can't blame them. It's my fault really. They are my responsibility... and I shouldn't have forgotten my meds... but you still let me down. It doesn't mean I don't love you... or that I love you any less... but you picked shopping over me... and that's just a sad fact. One I hope never happens again...
The lesson here my friends... we all make mistakes... we all fuck up... we all make bad choices...
But I think when we put something as stupid as say "shopping" in front of our friends... we are really dropping the ball.
Time to pick it up... learn from our mistakes... make our apologies and move on.
You don't let great friends go over stupid things like this.. but you certainly don't let them slide either.
I just think everyday you should be asking yourself.. what kind of friend do I want to be... and what kind of friend am I being?
The lesson here my friends... we all make mistakes... we all fuck up... we all make bad choices...
But I think when we put something as stupid as say "shopping" in front of our friends... we are really dropping the ball.
Time to pick it up... learn from our mistakes... make our apologies and move on.
You don't let great friends go over stupid things like this.. but you certainly don't let them slide either.
I just think everyday you should be asking yourself.. what kind of friend do I want to be... and what kind of friend am I being?
The Chameleon...
Recently I have discovered a new type of person... well I guess probably not new, but new to me. I've dubbed him/her... the chameleon. We all know one, but just maybe haven't stopped to realize who they are. It's the friend who is always on your side. The co-worker who thinks your ideas are great. The significant other who wants to do whatever you do. It must get tired being the chameleon, constantly changing your colors, your beliefs, your opinions, your stories. And here's the scary part, like a chameleon in the wild, I think most human chameleons are really good at hiding their true colors. They let you see exactly what you want to see... and no more. It is only if you catch a chameleon off guard... or out of their element that you can ever really bust them. They are smart, sneeky, deceiteful creatures. So here is my point for all of you... They are all around us... pretending to be exactly what you wanted them to be... or exactly what they are expected to be. Open your eyes... look closely... I think it's about time we start busting the chameleons at their own game!!!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
A Hilarious First
A first for me!!! Let's face it... it doesn't happen very often for me (I'm kinda one of those been there, done there kinda girls!!) So I get super excited to do something new... and let's just say this last adventure did not disappoint.
Yes... I have a bucket list. I decided to make it early in life... and add all along the way, making sure that I am always pushing myself to do different things. So one of the things that has been sitting on my list for at least a year... going to a comedy show. Then I heard Chelsea Handler, star of one of my favorite late night talk shows and author of a book I'm reading right now, was coming to Phoenix. I had to go!! I easily found two girlfriends to accompany me... and we were off. I was hoping to be entertained... but I got that... and so much more!!
First... Heather, Long-boobs, camel-toe opened. She was hilarious in her own way (If you don't watch Chelsea Lately... at least for the round tables at the beginning of the show... you are totally missing out!!)
And then came Chelsea!!! I know that she is supposed to be a raging alcoholic... who loves to fuck... sometimes really wierd guys... at least until she got her new boyfriend (who she calls the "silver fox") and I have heard is the head of E! which is why she got a show. P.S. I don't really care why she got a show... she is fucking hilarious... she should have one!! So anyway... this whole drinking thing. As a loyal Chelsea Lately viewer I can tell you she is not drunk while she tapes the show... the same however is not true for her comedy shows. She was definitely drunk... except she could still do her show... and make me laugh so hard my stomach hurt. Do they call that "functioning alcoholic"??? If so, I say function away... she cracked me up. On stage... she had two water bottles and glass with a stray and a lemon... I can only assume vodka and soda accompanied it! (Correct me if I'm wrong Chelsea!!!) Whatever it was, it doesn't matter. Her show was everything I wanted and more. Totally inapporpriate... a lot about sex... with a little something else thrown in. I laughed so hard I cried, nearly peed my pants... and seriously felt like I had been doing sit-ups for hours. My first comedy show... definitely a success... I may be addicted now... who's next?!!
Yes... I have a bucket list. I decided to make it early in life... and add all along the way, making sure that I am always pushing myself to do different things. So one of the things that has been sitting on my list for at least a year... going to a comedy show. Then I heard Chelsea Handler, star of one of my favorite late night talk shows and author of a book I'm reading right now, was coming to Phoenix. I had to go!! I easily found two girlfriends to accompany me... and we were off. I was hoping to be entertained... but I got that... and so much more!!
First... Heather, Long-boobs, camel-toe opened. She was hilarious in her own way (If you don't watch Chelsea Lately... at least for the round tables at the beginning of the show... you are totally missing out!!)
And then came Chelsea!!! I know that she is supposed to be a raging alcoholic... who loves to fuck... sometimes really wierd guys... at least until she got her new boyfriend (who she calls the "silver fox") and I have heard is the head of E! which is why she got a show. P.S. I don't really care why she got a show... she is fucking hilarious... she should have one!! So anyway... this whole drinking thing. As a loyal Chelsea Lately viewer I can tell you she is not drunk while she tapes the show... the same however is not true for her comedy shows. She was definitely drunk... except she could still do her show... and make me laugh so hard my stomach hurt. Do they call that "functioning alcoholic"??? If so, I say function away... she cracked me up. On stage... she had two water bottles and glass with a stray and a lemon... I can only assume vodka and soda accompanied it! (Correct me if I'm wrong Chelsea!!!) Whatever it was, it doesn't matter. Her show was everything I wanted and more. Totally inapporpriate... a lot about sex... with a little something else thrown in. I laughed so hard I cried, nearly peed my pants... and seriously felt like I had been doing sit-ups for hours. My first comedy show... definitely a success... I may be addicted now... who's next?!!
Sexual Judgements
So recently I found myself thrust into the middle of a discussion between casual and relationship sex. The value, or lack there of, of each, and the effect each can have on your future or current state. As the conversation, got me all fired up... I decided I should be able to (even though it totally doesn't concern me) voice my opinion here. (Let's be honest, when was the last time I stayed out of something controversial??)
So basically these are two very good friends, one female, one male. One who believes and practices casual sex (practices-like it's a religion?!!!). The other who reserves sex for serious committed relationships. Is one way right and the other wrong? Hell no. When it comes to sex, my philosophy has always been to each their own. As long as your needs are being met, and your feelings protected... do as you please.
But in case you haven't noticed from previous posts... I fall into the casual sex religion. In fact at the ripe old age of 27 (no I am not going to tell you how many people I have slept with!!)... there have been 4 times in my life when I was in a relationship (including right now), but since the age of 17 I have been having sex. Sometimes it was for the wrong reasons; I was looking for validation, or love, or I hoped this boy cared more than he really did. But often, it was just because I really enjoy sex and so I felt like I shouldn't deny myself that just because I hadn't found anyone I wanted to sleep with... and date!!! (As most of you know, it's a tough combination to find!!!)
Anyway, the part that fired me up about the conversation (that I was not a part of)... was the part where friend 1 said to friend 2 that he/she was not allowing his/herself to find a relationship because of the casual sex. And that the casual sex was the reason he/she was alone!!! I call total bullshit on that... and I can back it up with a relationship to prove it.
As I mentioned before... I've never really stopped having sex (I mean I've had dry spells, but that's a totally different blog)... and I am in a wonderful relationship now.. with a man I plan to marry. We are in a long distance relationship... and didn't meet in person until about 5 months after we started talking. (It wasn't internet dating or anything like that.... although I have done that... and have some crazy stories... blogs to come.. I promise!) But we started talking because a very good mutual friend of ours thought we would hit it off at her wedding... and have a great "wedding fling" (again a casual sex situation). That's what it was supposed to be... and so before I realized I was falling in love with him... I was still having casual sex.
Bottom line... my casual sex didn't stop me from finding the right one... and falling in love.
I think everyone should make decisions about when they are going to have sex or not, all on their own... but the bottom line is... I don't think any of us have the right to be making sexual judgements.
So basically these are two very good friends, one female, one male. One who believes and practices casual sex (practices-like it's a religion?!!!). The other who reserves sex for serious committed relationships. Is one way right and the other wrong? Hell no. When it comes to sex, my philosophy has always been to each their own. As long as your needs are being met, and your feelings protected... do as you please.
But in case you haven't noticed from previous posts... I fall into the casual sex religion. In fact at the ripe old age of 27 (no I am not going to tell you how many people I have slept with!!)... there have been 4 times in my life when I was in a relationship (including right now), but since the age of 17 I have been having sex. Sometimes it was for the wrong reasons; I was looking for validation, or love, or I hoped this boy cared more than he really did. But often, it was just because I really enjoy sex and so I felt like I shouldn't deny myself that just because I hadn't found anyone I wanted to sleep with... and date!!! (As most of you know, it's a tough combination to find!!!)
Anyway, the part that fired me up about the conversation (that I was not a part of)... was the part where friend 1 said to friend 2 that he/she was not allowing his/herself to find a relationship because of the casual sex. And that the casual sex was the reason he/she was alone!!! I call total bullshit on that... and I can back it up with a relationship to prove it.
As I mentioned before... I've never really stopped having sex (I mean I've had dry spells, but that's a totally different blog)... and I am in a wonderful relationship now.. with a man I plan to marry. We are in a long distance relationship... and didn't meet in person until about 5 months after we started talking. (It wasn't internet dating or anything like that.... although I have done that... and have some crazy stories... blogs to come.. I promise!) But we started talking because a very good mutual friend of ours thought we would hit it off at her wedding... and have a great "wedding fling" (again a casual sex situation). That's what it was supposed to be... and so before I realized I was falling in love with him... I was still having casual sex.
Bottom line... my casual sex didn't stop me from finding the right one... and falling in love.
I think everyone should make decisions about when they are going to have sex or not, all on their own... but the bottom line is... I don't think any of us have the right to be making sexual judgements.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Update to the Update: Tough Times??
Some might call this third blog about new paper towel & toilet paper dispensers obsessive... but fuck "some". Today, as I was again discussing my frustrations with our ability to get new bathroom appliances but not properly compensate our hard working staff... someone said to me, "You know those automatic paper towel dispensers are just so they can save money on paper towels, so there aren't so many wasted?!" It was a point I hadn't yet thought of but to one I say this... If your automatic paper towel dispensers actually work... and people want to use the over abundance of paper towels they always use to dry their hands... they will just wave their hands more than once. It doesn't take a genius... or a mensanite... I mean it's not like they cut you off. Like a little voice from inside the dispenser says, "I'm sorry ma'am you've reached your paper towel limit" and then stops the dispensing. Someone show me the graph that proves how quickly these high tech bathroom appliances are going to pay for themselves. But you know what will be a problem, the liability you will have on your wet hands when I for real lose it... because I have to keep drying my hands on my f-ing jeans. They are brand new... do you think they could work properly for a day?? And what about the toilet paper dispensers... because there is nothing stopping the over-usage there. No waving to get four squares... or button pushing to dispense the perfect ass-wiping amount. Oh no, you could pull toilet paper to your hearts desire. So how are those benefiting us? How are they saving us money? The answer, my friends, is it is all a bunch of waha... waha... that ends with wasting money... and without my raise. I rest my case... at least for now.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Update: Tough Times??
So I'm in our wonderfully new applianced bathroom today. And I go to wash my hands...
Water on-check
Soaping hands up- check
Rinsing hands off-check
Drying hands off- nothing!!!
Our beautiful (I say beautiful, but really they look like cheap steel boxes) new handless paper towel dispensers, don't work. I mean nothing. I wove my hand slowly across the front... quickly across the front... slowing underneath... quickly underneath... I touched the "magic button" on the bottom... NOTHING. And then I move to the other magic dispenser... and repeated all my tricks... and still NOTHING. Listen... I'm not trying to say anything, but never have my smooth strokes ever been denied like this before!!! So after five minutes of stroking (which is way beyond my limit!!!) I dried my hands on my fucking jeans and left the bathroom. This my friends is my raise's replacement?? WTF??? At least with our old paper towel dispensers, I got a paper towel... and a chance at a raise!!! I'm not trying to raise some hell, but whose f-ing idea was this? Under what circumstances are non-touch paper towel dispensers worth more than your producer's sanity?? I am on the brink of losing it... and the fact that I can't even get a paper towel to wipe my G-D hands is only pushing me closer to the edge. And I'm pretty sure I'm not alone... don't look now... but we may be on the verge of a paper towel mutiny in the women's bathroom...
Water on-check
Soaping hands up- check
Rinsing hands off-check
Drying hands off- nothing!!!
Our beautiful (I say beautiful, but really they look like cheap steel boxes) new handless paper towel dispensers, don't work. I mean nothing. I wove my hand slowly across the front... quickly across the front... slowing underneath... quickly underneath... I touched the "magic button" on the bottom... NOTHING. And then I move to the other magic dispenser... and repeated all my tricks... and still NOTHING. Listen... I'm not trying to say anything, but never have my smooth strokes ever been denied like this before!!! So after five minutes of stroking (which is way beyond my limit!!!) I dried my hands on my fucking jeans and left the bathroom. This my friends is my raise's replacement?? WTF??? At least with our old paper towel dispensers, I got a paper towel... and a chance at a raise!!! I'm not trying to raise some hell, but whose f-ing idea was this? Under what circumstances are non-touch paper towel dispensers worth more than your producer's sanity?? I am on the brink of losing it... and the fact that I can't even get a paper towel to wipe my G-D hands is only pushing me closer to the edge. And I'm pretty sure I'm not alone... don't look now... but we may be on the verge of a paper towel mutiny in the women's bathroom...
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