The Pursuit of drunkiness...

Before you just decide that I must be some alcoholic... I must have some problem, let me explain. You see, I have not had a sip of alcohol in 3 months, 3 weeks and 1 day (but who's counting, right??) My new sober lifestyle is certainly not by choice... hence my current state... the pursuit of drunkiness. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. It was 3 months, 3 weeks and 1 day ago that I learned I had a blood clot the size of Texas growing in my left leg (nicknamed by my friend "R" Big Daddy). But Big Daddy wasn't alone... two of his little friends had broken off and traveled to my right lung (dubbed Bert & Ernie). Consequently, I ended up in the hospital for 6 days and things in my life changed drastically! Immediately I had to quit smoking, stop taking birth control pills and start blood thinners (by IV while I was in the hospital, pills now that I'm out). And those blood thinners mean no drinking!! It's a situation that has definitely changed my life... and made me crazy. Sometimes I wonder if I really do have a problem. Because otherwise, why is this not drinking thing so difficult. But then I think it's really more than that. It's that so many things I was dependent on in one way or another, were taken away from me... all at the same time. It's enough to drive anyone crazy. So back to my pursuit of drunkiness... I feel like my goal these days... is to just make it through, get healthy and hurry up and make it to the point in my life where I can start drinking again. The point where I no longer have to be on these blood thinners. I look at that day as the day that I'll be able to go back to that comfortable life I had before I almost died. I truly believe on that day I will no longer be crazy. Is that really going to happen?? I don't know... maybe it's wishful thinking. But it's all I have right now. It's the day I dream about... the day I can't wait for... the day I will be re-born and my pursuit of drunkiness... will end!

The Godmother...

So don't look now... but someone thinks I am godmother material!! Surprised?? You should have seen me! I mean, I like babies. I think they are super cute... and fun to play with. But godmother... that means some serious responsibility. In theory, I could have to take care of them... like not just for a few hours... but forever. The good news is... we're talking about boys.. twin boys. I think boys for sure like me better and we all know how difficult girls can be!! But still, I am a little apprehensive!!! I just don't want to let anyone down... I want to be like a fairy godmother... great at my job. I have just two months to prepare for this role... first order of business... try to stop swearing!! At least I have to learn how control myself around the babies. Pretty sure, a fairy godmother would make sure the boys first word was not shit... or hell... or worse...

The Devil...

Watch out... there is a new devil in town... hiding in a little box... lurking behind a stop light.. or on the side of the road. It sneaks up on you... striking quickly... blinding you... and then retreating as just as fast as it came. It... is photo radar. The biggest big brother there is. That conspiracy theory that someone is always watching. Well they are!! But really, it's not that part that bothers me most. What really bothers me... is that I am not a bad driver. I am very safe and responsible. I mean I have places to go and people to see... I move. But it seems like every photo radar camera in the valley is out to get me. It's bullshit!! So the latest demon to capture my soul... I mean photo... was at a stop light just a mile from my house. It "claimed" I ran a red light... I say it was orange at best. This is what I know, if I would have tried to stop... I would have had to slam on my brakes... and that could have caused an accident!!! But now, I have yet another photo radar ticket to try and duck. So at what point does this "devil" dub you a danger to the roads... at what point will the process servers just camp outside my house?? My warning to all of you... you never know where the devil will be hiding next. So be careful... el diablo could be targeting you... with the goal of making your life... hell!

Buffet of Friends

Is it just me or does everyone have a buffet of friends?? I was thinking about all the significant people I have choosen in my life, and I realized, they are vastly different. They each seem to fill a different role in my life, and in most cases, they are good at something or have some characteristic that I feel I am lacking. For instance, take my boyfriend... hello! He's a chef... meanwhile I can't even pretend to cook, nor do I have any desire to learn. Then there is my other friend... we'll just call her "J". She is incredibly smart... you know, book smart, and she is a wiz on the computer (the only reason I even have this blog!). Another one of my good friends "Y" is the most compassionate, caring person I have ever met. She is incredibly patient and selfless, qualities I totally admire. Another one of my friends "S" is just smoking hot. I mean she is constantly dating 3 or 4 guys at a time. Men are always lusting over her. She is just about every guys fantasy. It's not that I want to be like any of my friends. I have just realized that I seem to choose people in my life that bring something new and exciting to my life... they are my buffet of friends!!!

My first time...

Yea! My first blog!! So I was trying to decide what my first blog would be about. I mean, there is a lot of pressure with the first time, ya know? It should be witty and charming, really give the reader an idea of who I am, and of course make them want to come back for more. It got me thinking about other important firsts... your first kiss... first time having sex... My first kiss, I can't even remember... where, when, who... I have no clue. Is that sad or what? My first time having sex, sucked. I don't really remember that much either, but I'm pretty sure it was because I blocked it out. Good thing I've moved on (wink, wink). Anyway, the point is I'm feeling like this is another very important first... I only hope I, and you, will remember it forever!