Monday, April 26, 2010

Going Through Hell

Sometimes our lives our hell. Sometimes we go through hell for the people we love. That's exactly what I did today. It may have been my extreme PMS... or the fact that I just got injections into my spine and head. Perhaps it was the five bulging discs in my neck... the constant headache... the fact that my neck felt like it was in a brace... my shoulder, back and colar bone pain. Maybe it was a little bit of everything. But despite my off-the-charts pain... my pain was meaningless compared to what my boyfriend was doing today. It was a big day for him. So I did my best to put on a happy face. Unfortunately, my best kind of sucked. And I spent most of the day hiding... and crying... and feeling like shit. I sucked it up for dinner. And tried not to be hurt by the fact that my boyfriend had other priorities today. But I still felt very alone... alone in my pain. And then as I was sitting here I realized something. What a selfish bitch I am. Am I really going to be mad at my boyfriend because he didn't have time to personally come and check on me? Am I really going to hold a grudge because I braved one of the worst and most uncomfortable days of my life... so he could make a good impression? My boyfriend is the one person who I can honestly say I believe would give anything to take away my pain. He has and always does put me first... especially when I am in pain. And when you are in love with someone... you make sacrifices. Today... I went through hell for the love of my life. And I would do it again in a heartbeat.