Friday, November 13, 2009

Are We Falling Apart??

Are we falling apart? My perfect man, my perfect love story, my forever... I have no idea what is happening to us right now and I have no idea how to fix it. But I feel like you are so unhappy, so unhappy with me, like I am making you miserable, this move has made you miserable. And the bottom line is, I have no idea how to make it better. I love you. I really do. My heart aches at the thought of losing you. But I don't know what to do to make you happy. And if you aren't happy with me now, I don't want you to stay with me just because you feel like you should. We aren't married, we don't have kids. There is no reason for us to get locked into a relationship if we both aren't happy. And if we aren't happy now, lord knows we aren't going to be happy 10 years from now. I have no idea how this happened. I thought for sure we would be able to survive anything. But here's the thing. I am doing my best right now. And it just doesn't seem to be enough for you. And if it's not enough, than I am just not enough. I don't know how many more times we can have this same fight. And the bottom line is, more than anything, all I want for you is to be happy. And if I can't make you happy, if you aren't happy here, you should go somewhere you will be. I say that through sobs and huge tears running down my face. It is not something I want to be saying. But I love you. And I want what is best for you. Maybe I'm too screwed up to be the "best".

1 comment:

Marie said...

Sorry to hear that.