Guilt Pains

So the other day I'm talking to my mom and my job comes up and we are talking about how things are going in my "new position" with my "new schedule" and she says, "Well you must have less stress." To which I reply, "Yes, I do." Mom- "So, then you must be feeling better." Me- "What do you mean?" Mom- "I mean your health, migraines and anxiety attacks." Me- "Umm...NO! Actually my migraines are getting worse right now, more frequent than they have been. I think I need to go back to the pain center." Mom- "Oh."
So when I came home tonight with a migraine feeling like absolute shit... it got me thinking... thinking about this conversation I had had with a co-worker (a pretty powerful co-worker) who said to me... "maybe this is for the best"... and "now you will have less stress and feel better". I know that there was more than just one person behind my fall from grace. But if these people think that they were doing me any favors.. if they sleep better at night because they believe that they actually helped me... they can bite me. My health has not improved because of their little career plan for me... which by the way I was not consulted about. I would just hate for anyone to be getting a good night's sleep while I still can't. Guess you'll have to come up with another excuse to ease the guilt pains.

My Crazy Life

6:00am- My boyfriend kisses me goodbye. I manage to get out a "call me as soon as you are done with work". I am on maybe my third hour of sleep.
Fast forward to 12:30pm- My boyfriend calls.
Me- "Wow, you're done with work early"
Him- "Yeah, they don't want to have to pay me too much overtime. What's up?
Me- "I need a huge favor. I need you to come by here and pick something off for me and then go drop it off. The deadline is today and I thought I could email it in, but it says you have to drop it off in person and if I wait until after work, they will already be closed."
Him- "(Huge sign/gasp like his world is collapsing) Really? Why couldn't you have asked me that this morning?"
Me- "Well for one it was 6 o'clock in the morning and I wasn't awake. I was maybe on my third hour of sleep. And for two I didn't think it would make a difference. You know what, if you don't want to do it, don't do it. Because I don't have time to argue with you. I have work to do and I'm already behind." (Cue the tears)
Him- "I don't even know where I'm going."
Me- "Well of course I was going to mapquest it for you. I wasn't just going to send you out there blind. But you know what. I can't have my boyfriend doing another thing for his crazy girlfriend that he doesn't want to do, having to pick up the pieces once again so just forget it." (Now I'm really crying)
Him- "No babe, I really want to do this for you, please let me do this for you."
Me- "Why couldn't you just react like that. All I wanted was to ask my boyfriend for a favor and for him to be like, 'Sure babe'. Why do you first have to make me feel like shit??" (Still seriously crying- total freak)
Him- "You're right, I am so sorry. Please let me help you out with this. I love you babe. I'm on my way."
Me- "Thank you baby. I'll see you when you get here." (Still totally distraught)

My poor fucking boyfriend. I am one crazy bitch. I mean, yes, I probably didn't need the end of the world sign but did he need the guilt trip from hell???
As I reflected on the conversation later, I was actually laughing out loud at my overreaction, my craziness. Can you believe I even have a boyfriend??? And then I thought, shit. I should have my own reality show. No script needed. I pull this over-the-top shit all the time. It could just be about my crazy life and the people who have to try and put up with it. It's emotional, it's hilarious, it's a little bit like WTF, it's the perfect reality show. Now that TLC lost Jon & Kate Plus 8... maybe they should pick up "My Crazy Life". How does one get a reality show I wonder?????