My Crazy Life

6:00am- My boyfriend kisses me goodbye. I manage to get out a "call me as soon as you are done with work". I am on maybe my third hour of sleep.
Fast forward to 12:30pm- My boyfriend calls.
Me- "Wow, you're done with work early"
Him- "Yeah, they don't want to have to pay me too much overtime. What's up?
Me- "I need a huge favor. I need you to come by here and pick something off for me and then go drop it off. The deadline is today and I thought I could email it in, but it says you have to drop it off in person and if I wait until after work, they will already be closed."
Him- "(Huge sign/gasp like his world is collapsing) Really? Why couldn't you have asked me that this morning?"
Me- "Well for one it was 6 o'clock in the morning and I wasn't awake. I was maybe on my third hour of sleep. And for two I didn't think it would make a difference. You know what, if you don't want to do it, don't do it. Because I don't have time to argue with you. I have work to do and I'm already behind." (Cue the tears)
Him- "I don't even know where I'm going."
Me- "Well of course I was going to mapquest it for you. I wasn't just going to send you out there blind. But you know what. I can't have my boyfriend doing another thing for his crazy girlfriend that he doesn't want to do, having to pick up the pieces once again so just forget it." (Now I'm really crying)
Him- "No babe, I really want to do this for you, please let me do this for you."
Me- "Why couldn't you just react like that. All I wanted was to ask my boyfriend for a favor and for him to be like, 'Sure babe'. Why do you first have to make me feel like shit??" (Still seriously crying- total freak)
Him- "You're right, I am so sorry. Please let me help you out with this. I love you babe. I'm on my way."
Me- "Thank you baby. I'll see you when you get here." (Still totally distraught)

My poor fucking boyfriend. I am one crazy bitch. I mean, yes, I probably didn't need the end of the world sign but did he need the guilt trip from hell???
As I reflected on the conversation later, I was actually laughing out loud at my overreaction, my craziness. Can you believe I even have a boyfriend??? And then I thought, shit. I should have my own reality show. No script needed. I pull this over-the-top shit all the time. It could just be about my crazy life and the people who have to try and put up with it. It's emotional, it's hilarious, it's a little bit like WTF, it's the perfect reality show. Now that TLC lost Jon & Kate Plus 8... maybe they should pick up "My Crazy Life". How does one get a reality show I wonder?????

A Hilarious First

A first for me!!! Let's face it... it doesn't happen very often for me (I'm kinda one of those been there, done there kinda girls!!) So I get super excited to do something new... and let's just say this last adventure did not disappoint.
Yes... I have a bucket list. I decided to make it early in life... and add all along the way, making sure that I am always pushing myself to do different things. So one of the things that has been sitting on my list for at least a year... going to a comedy show. Then I heard Chelsea Handler, star of one of my favorite late night talk shows and author of a book I'm reading right now, was coming to Phoenix. I had to go!! I easily found two girlfriends to accompany me... and we were off. I was hoping to be entertained... but I got that... and so much more!!
First... Heather, Long-boobs, camel-toe opened. She was hilarious in her own way (If you don't watch Chelsea Lately... at least for the round tables at the beginning of the show... you are totally missing out!!)
And then came Chelsea!!! I know that she is supposed to be a raging alcoholic... who loves to fuck... sometimes really wierd guys... at least until she got her new boyfriend (who she calls the "silver fox") and I have heard is the head of E! which is why she got a show. P.S. I don't really care why she got a show... she is fucking hilarious... she should have one!! So anyway... this whole drinking thing. As a loyal Chelsea Lately viewer I can tell you she is not drunk while she tapes the show... the same however is not true for her comedy shows. She was definitely drunk... except she could still do her show... and make me laugh so hard my stomach hurt. Do they call that "functioning alcoholic"??? If so, I say function away... she cracked me up. On stage... she had two water bottles and glass with a stray and a lemon... I can only assume vodka and soda accompanied it! (Correct me if I'm wrong Chelsea!!!) Whatever it was, it doesn't matter. Her show was everything I wanted and more. Totally inapporpriate... a lot about sex... with a little something else thrown in. I laughed so hard I cried, nearly peed my pants... and seriously felt like I had been doing sit-ups for hours. My first comedy show... definitely a success... I may be addicted now... who's next?!!