Goodbye "Perfect Friend"

It's time to say goodbye, adios, aloha... to one of my best friends. It is with mixed emotions that I give a final farewell to a constant companion... someone who was always there for me... always made me feel better... made my problems seem to melt away. Someone who was never selfish... never required anything from me... who always put me first.
Sounds like the perfect friend huh??
So why the hell would I be shutting this out of my life??
Well, it's like they say, things are not always as they seem.
See my "perfect friend" was also ruining my body and my self-esteem. I can barely stand to look at myself in the mirror right now. My jeans don't fit right. I have about 25 pounds to lose. And as much as I have tried all other things... It comes down to this my "perfect friend" is the only thing holding me back.
I have become dependent on my friend to get through things... good and bad. It has been the one thing I turn to when I am depressed, but then it just makes me fat... and more depressed.
So I am stopping the viscious cycle.
Goodbye my friend...
At least for now I'm taking my last drink.
Peace out alcohol.
This last sip is for you....

Almost Lovers

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

My sister gave me this CD and on it was this song... It's called "Almost Lovers" by A Fine Frenzy. The first time I heard it, I was drawn to it. I didn't know why. I am in a great relationship. I have an amazing lover. I had no idea why I kept wanting to hear this "Almost Lovers" song. Then today it hit me... I have an almost lover. I think we all have at least one almost lover. It doesn't diminish the relationship we have now, or make it any less special. It doesn't mean we are in the wrong relationship, it is just a significant person in our past that will always have a special place. I actually think it's those past relationships that shape our present one. They teach us about how we want to be in relationships, what is important to us, what we will put up with and what is absolutely unacceptable to us. They are the reasons for all our insecurities and our requirements for a partner. I think understanding our past relationships are vital to having a healthy present one. I have no regrets from my past relationships, in fact if anything, I feel bad for the guys... I mean.. look what they missed out on!!!