Losing your best friend

Losing your best friend. I can't even imagine how painful it must be. The heartbreak has to be unlike any other loss because the relationship is unlike any other. There is no selfishness, jealously, grudges... only unconditional love. The love between a pet and its owner is truly sacred. It's something I never experienced until adulthood. Now I have two dogs, two babies, whom I can not imagine losing. My heart breaks at the thought. Luckily, my babies are still relatively young and seem to be in good health. Meanwhile, my half-sister is dealing with this very heart ache. She has lost her best friend, her cat T-Bone. By far, the coolest cat I have ever met. A cat, that was more like a dog. He played fetch, responded to his name, and slept with her every night. Until 2 nights ago, his heart gave out. The death of a pet, a best friend. It is something that I have had yet to share, but I know I will all too soon. And it makes me cry for all of you who have lost your best friend. I invite you... if you want... to remember them here.... a place where the real love lives on.

Goodbye "Perfect Friend"

It's time to say goodbye, adios, aloha... to one of my best friends. It is with mixed emotions that I give a final farewell to a constant companion... someone who was always there for me... always made me feel better... made my problems seem to melt away. Someone who was never selfish... never required anything from me... who always put me first.
Sounds like the perfect friend huh??
So why the hell would I be shutting this out of my life??
Well, it's like they say, things are not always as they seem.
See my "perfect friend" was also ruining my body and my self-esteem. I can barely stand to look at myself in the mirror right now. My jeans don't fit right. I have about 25 pounds to lose. And as much as I have tried all other things... It comes down to this my "perfect friend" is the only thing holding me back.
I have become dependent on my friend to get through things... good and bad. It has been the one thing I turn to when I am depressed, but then it just makes me fat... and more depressed.
So I am stopping the viscious cycle.
Goodbye my friend...
At least for now I'm taking my last drink.
Peace out alcohol.
This last sip is for you....

Daddy

The first man to ever hold my hand.
The first man to kiss me goodnight.
The first man to soothe me to sleep.
The first man to ever make me feel safe.

The first man to encourage my dreams.
The first man to make me realize how special I am.
The first man to tell me to settle for nothing less than success.
The first man to believe I was more than a housewife.

The first man to tell me I was beautiful.
The first man to instill in me a sense of self worth.
The first man to make me understand what I deserved from the people in my life.
The first man to pick me up and dust me off when I was let down.

The first man to wipe away my tears.
The first man to tell me it was going to be alright and really make me believe it.
The first man who could make me feel better without saying a word.
The only man who has yet to break my heart.

My dad...
My friend...
My confidante...
The man I've always admired, looked up to and felt lucky to have.

My best friend....

My best friend... for a long time.... it was cigarettes. The tempting nicottine that was always there for me. It was a friend I could always count on, a friend that never betrayed me and always had my back. That is until he tried to kill me. Then I had to drop him... in a hurry. Now, it seems, I have found a new best friend, the only one I can really count on in my life right now, the one who is there for me when I need him, the only one who doesn't have his own "shit" or "plans" or "alterior motives"... it's alcohol. I know I have high standards, but are they so high that only addictive behaviors will do?? I know I'm not always the easiest person to deal with, but is this what my life has become?? I know I'm not an alcoholic.. I don't eat, breathe and sleep alcohol. I don't have to have it every day, but I am depending more and more on it. It has become more and more important to me as a tool to get by, my best friend that I rely on to get through the end of today and face tomorrow. I wish more than anything I had a person that I could really rely on, that could take this evil place. And I hope that is my future very soon.... until then... cheers.