Aloha!

Not as in hello... but as in goodbye. I have the next week off of work... supposedly to go to Hawaii with my boyfriend, except there's a hitch. WE HAVE NO MONEY. I don't even know how I'm going to pay my bills this month. So I had to make a decision. Leaving town isn't just finding money for a plane ticket, my dogs have to be kenneled... and that practically doubles the cost of your trip. So now, I am staying and saying aloha to my boyfriend, who will be going back to help with a catering (and make money) and see his brother and twin nephews and all his friends. And I will be left here for four days... all by myself.. here's the kicker.. with no boyfriend... no work.. nothing to do.. and no money to make something happen. I am devastated. Don't get me wrong, I am so glad my boyfriend gets to go home, see his family and friends, have some good down time, AND MAKE MONEY!!! But what is my already depressed, fat ass going to do without him?? I'm just really sad... I'm sad that my boyfriend is going to be gone for 4 days (I don't think I realized until now how attached I have become to him) and I'm sad because he is going to get to do all the fun vacation things without me... and I will be here... alone... with my boys... whom I love don't get me wrong. I am just so sad at the prospect of being alone... Aloha!!