Paybacks are a BITCH!

If you are anything like me, over the years, you have come to realize what a pain in the ass you used to be. (Yes, I used the past tense and I meant past tense. If you think I'm bad now, you should have seen me then!) I spent the majority of my teenaged years pouting, picking fights and causing problems. Especially for my mom. We couldn't have a conversation without screaming, crying and slamming doors. I look back at now with embarressment at how much grief and how many headaches I must have caused her. But, I also realize now that there are so many things I must have just tucked away, so many rude comments, things I never should have said, that I decided were not worth remembering. Luckily my mom has not forgotten. And every once in a while, she whips one out... just to remind me of what a stubborn, selfish, bitch I was. This one... well... this one may take the cake. The conversation goes like this...
Mom: So I was out to dinner with my book club... you know my new book club I'm in. (Before we go any farther, let me point out I'm from Minnesota and yes my mom has the accent!! Read it again, be sure to stress the vowels!!!)
Me: Uh huh. (Truthfully I don't remember, but sometimes it's just better to play along!)
Mom: One of the ladies was talking about her son who is getting ready to go to college and he is so stressed out he has actually broken out in hives. Can you believe it? You remember how stressed out you were trying to make college decisions???
Me: Not really.
Mom: You don't? You were a real pain. I mean I remember at one point telling you that you didn't have to go to college right away. You could take a year off and figure things out. And do you remember what you said to me?
Me: No, Mom... (Say it again, really exasperated... because that's how I did it.--Sidebar: Maybe I am still a big bitch??!!!)
Mom: You don't?
Me: No, Mom... (Even more exasperated... the point of frustration. Is this going anywhere?--Sidebar: It's official... I am still a bitch. See this is why I do this, it's like looking in a mirror. How do you people put up with me?)
Mom: You said to me, "I'm going to college Mom. I'm going to make something out of myself, unlike you!"
Me: Silent (And if you know me, speechless is never an issue.)
Me: (Finally) I said that?
Mom: Yes, you said that.
Me: I totally don't remember that. (Stammering) I'm so sorry Mom. Wow! I was a really big bitch.
Mom: It's okay. It did get you moving though. You started making decisions. (She laughs, maybe after 27 years of dealing with me, that's all you can do... laugh???)
Mom: I told my friend she might want to try it though. It worked for you.

Unbelievable huh?? It's amazing how easy it is to forget the horrible things you do or say, especially to the people who love you the most. That my friends is why I have always said if I ever have children, no girls. I know I will get one just like me. And there is no way I would make it through a mini-me. At least one of us wouldn't make it through. It's also why I think my mom has always hoped I would have a girl... because we all know, as the saying goes... Paybacks are a Bitch. (Just like I used to be!)