Crazy Insomniac

It's official... I am an insomniac. So I figured what better time to discuss the issue, then when I'm right in the middle of it. (Hello, 5:15am!!) But of course, I couldn't be your run-of-the-mill insomniac, you know the kind that just can't sleep, gets a prescription for sleeping pills and calls it a night (pun totally intended!). No, instead I have developed my own form of insomnia, that naturally is crazier that having insomnia in the first place. It goes a little something like this...
Let's just use today as an example:
I am driving home from work at 7:30pm... so tired at times I feel my eyes closing. I literally may be a danger on the road at this point, but somehow I safely make it home. I manage to stay awake long enough to feed my dogs and myself, before falling asleep on the couch. This is not a "nap", but a deep sleep. At 11:00pm I am apparently (although I dont' really remember) awoken by a phone call from my boyfriend. I answer... allegedly talking to him for about four minutes when he says I fall silent. After screaming my name into the phone a few times, he hangs up. A couple minutes later, he calls back. Again I answer and he asks me if I just fell asleep while I was on the phone with him... my response (groggily) "I don't know, did I?" At this point he decides I am in no condition to talk to and tells me he'll call me later. I fall immediately back into my deep sleep (that is if I ever emerged from it in the first place). I wake up at 2:15am, vaguely remembering that I may have had a phone conversation with someone. I frantically look for my cell phone and find it underneath me in the couch. I look at the call history to see that only my boyfriend called (thank god, I mean I don't want to be sleep-talking to anyone important- no offense baby.. Love you!!) I call him back and ask him if we talked... he tells me the whole story... I laugh... out loud... hard. In fact, I am laughing now. You must admit, it is funny. (In a "is there any part of my life that is not crazy" kind of way) Anyway, we talk for about 45 minutes when we decide we are both tired and need to go to bed. So I gather my shit (meaning my glass of water and my dogs) and head upstairs to bed. I put my pjs on, brush my teeth, wash my face and get into bed, ready to pick right up on my deep sleep... I mean I am still tired. But no. Now that is out of the question. So I turn on the tv, maybe watching that will relax me into sleep... 1 hour later, no such luck. I read a chapter of my book... still wide awake. I masterbate (maybe I just have some pent up needs?!!) Nope still can't sleep... and so here I am. Now this is not the first night that this has happened. In fact, it's like the third night this week, so let me tell you how this story is going to end. I will end up falling asleep... into a really deep sleep... anywhere between 1 and 2 hours before I need to get up. At this point, I will sleep through my alarm (which is so loud, it probably wakes the neighbors- just ask my boyfriend.. did I mention I love you?!!) I will wake up, in a panic, when I am supposed to be somewhere (I swear it's like a gift. Wednesday morning I had a doctors appointment at 8am... that's when I woke up. I'm supposed to be at work at 9am, that's when I woke up this morning) So then my day starts with panic... and I work through it with some sort of very fucked up sleep. If at this point you are thinking I should just get a sleeping pill, listen know-it-all, I've thought of that, but that seems a little dangerous, doesn't it?, considering when I do fall asleep, I am already dead to the world (but apparently sometimes carrying on conversations) Let's add a medication that is supposed to make me sleep to the mix and I'm a little concerned about the outcomes. So I'm kind just left with this fucked up insomnia huh? What do you do at 5:15 in the morning when you have tried everything, but can't fall asleep? Should I just start the coffee and get my day going? But the problem is, I am still tired. I want to sleep, but I can't. It's kinda like the story of my life... I just can't have the things I want. I want to get a raise so I can afford to live, but the economy blows. I want my boyfriend to live in the same state as me, but he has his own responsibilities. I want my special (it's a work thing, just means more time and stress for me) to be done so I don't have to worry about it anymore. I want, I want, I want. I kinda sound like that spoiled brat from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory... "I want a golden egg daddy and I want it now!!!" Wow... I am so off topic now it's not even funny... see this is exactly what is going on in my head. And if you are crazy... apparently so is your insomnia. I guess I'm off to try some warm milk or something fucked up like that. Hope you are sleeping well... really I do!!!!!