Sunday, November 23, 2008

Titties & Turkey

So tonight, I celebrated Thanksgiving. Yes I know it is 5 days early, but when you work in a business that sees no such thing as a holiday, you have to be creative. So a girl from work decided to set up this whole pot-luck Thanksgiving. At first, I hesitated about participating, in fact, I think she had to send me like 3 emails to get me to respond. Finally, I asked what I had to bring. She said a salad and utinsils. I was in. I mean I can do a salad. Really, I was just worried they would expect some real cooking out of me and hello?? We all know that does not happen. Moving on... I arrive for our pot-luck Thanksgiving to find a mish-mash of people from work (I mean, all the cool people, but quite an eccletic group). It's perfect! We all sit down to enjoy our home cooked (in about 8 different homes) meal. At first, there is a bit of silence, but then we find our groove. And I found that it wasn't that different than any other family Thanksgiving I had been to. We all went around and said what we were thankful for. We all pooked fun at each other. (Poor J got it so bad because she was wearing a see-through shirt, but then proceeded to tell everyone that she had "tried to cover the girls up". Of course, we couldn't let it go. I was wearing a low cut shirt, perhaps showing the girls off even more than J, but it was just the "I tried to cover them up" thing that sealed her fate. Needless to say, she was badgered enough that she changed her shirt, a move I consider surrendering and a stance I would never take, especially when engaged in a boob-war. But to each their own... right?) There were several hilarious moments... mostly started by inappropriate comments. At one point, I went to take the trash out and almost ate shit over one of J's three doggie gates... (P.S. She is like psycho dog mom, afraid at any moment her baby will escape. Tonight I asked her what she was going to do if she had kids. She said I don't know but you are supposed to watch them at all times!! Man she cracks me up.) I was laughing hysterically. I had only one glass of wine, but it totally brought me back to my fall down the stairs that started the demise of my life. I shouldn't laugh, but at this point what else are you going to do. Then... there was my covert operation with Ace to get my folding chairs out the front door... the front door that has not one, but two signs that says you can't use it... again because of J's fear that her dog will make a run for it. And finally... there was the moment with R by the fire pit. I was showing her all the new pictures of the twins... and without thinking, I flipped to the next picture, which happened to be a topless picture of me, that I had sent to my boyfriend. All I could say was "Uh, oh!!" We laughed so hard my stomach hurt.
Tonight I realized when you become our age, and live as far away from family as many of us do, you need to rely on the people around you, especially during the holidays. Tonight I realized Thanksgiving can be just as dysfunctional, even if there is no family involved. Tonight I realized it's not so much about the food (although it was fantastic)... but more about the company... the conversation... the laughs.
It's a celebration I hope we make a tradition... and therefore, one that needs a name. My vote was Titties & Turkey. But of course, it's up for discussion... if you have something better... throw it out there. And if I missed any of the hilarious moments (there were so many), this is your time to share. Bottom line thanks for the food...the fun... and the friendship.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Operation Front Door was a stunning success! Although, it did take somebody a ton of time to get the door unlocked.

I think you're very close on the name for the new tradition. The title should be Turkey and Titties. Having "turkey" first in the title shows that it is a Thanksgiving holiday gathering with J's boob shelf and display shirts versus any old gathering with J's bountiful harvest where turkey is served.

Thanks to J for the special semitic section of the table. It was like the V.I.P. area of the whole shindig.

Anonymous said...

YOU FUCKERS USED THE FRONT DOOR??!! you are so lucky I didn't know that was going down!

anyway, laughing my ass off - both at the post and ace's response.

Lawless - I was, indeed, waving the white flag of surrender - if for no other reason than i thought maybe half of the guests might be tired of hearing about my "bountiful harvest."

Ace - the segregated seating arrangement was all J.O.'s idea (aka "R") Speaking of... how about we don't wait a whole year for another group holiday? let's do Seder!

Anonymous said...

J-
Seder isn't until April... but if you don't want to see "us" again until then, I guess we understand. haha jk! As for the seating arrangment, I don't think it was anybody's idea. We didn't even realize we were all sitting together until you gave us that "You're all sitting together" look. hehehehehe
Lawless- Just thinking about the fire pit incident makes me crack up. Your "Ooops" response was priceless! You looked like a little kid that had just gotten caught doing something bad by your parents! Hilarious!!

Anonymous said...

Michelle...I don't know what to say...I think I love you...hehe. Well that this gives a whole new meaning to the Thanksgiving term "I'll have the breast."

Anonymous said...

J- We can have a potluck anytime, yo. I'd be down. We gotta bomb group of people. Especially when JF takes off the hat! I forgot to mention how special that made it.

And, hells yeah we used the front door. It was such a rush! We were all giddy. :D

Even though it was cheesy to go around the table saying what we were all thankful for, it was mad fun.

Anonymous said...

I concede... the new name can be Turkey & Titties. As long as J promises to "try to cover them up next year too!!"
And J... if you are gonna rock the boobs... no more surrendering mid-war. It just makes us look weak. And we naturally bountiful women must always appear strong. Flaunt it if you got it. What do you think the chances of getting some cleveage from R are???

SheckerGirl said...

WHY DIDN'T I GET TO SEE THE LAWLESS TWINS?? I ORGANIZED THE MOTHERFUCKER!
- D

Anonymous said...

Lawless, that's what I am saying. When J changed shirts it was like the terrorists won and we all died just a little on the inside. Unite to fight terrorism, J! Freedom for all (boobs) from the tyranny of a cowboy style shirt!

LOL If you want R to show cleavage, then you will need invite an unmarried, virgin Jewish doctor or lawyer. Although, J did have enough cleavage for the whole lot of us!