T-Minus 17 Hours To Invasion...

I am just 17 short (LONGEST HOURS OF MY LIFE) away from meeting my boyfriend. We are picking up his truck in L.A. and then driving home... together... to our home... where we will be living and no one will be leaving. I feel like I have been waiting for this day to come for so long. I am so excited and so nervous all at the same time. Not about my decision, or his decision. I just want him to be happy. I want to make him happy and I am so afraid that living with me, really being with me will pop this pretty little bubble he has of who I am. I know I haven't been anyone but myself with him. And I know that he knows more than anyone my struggles. I guess what my problem is... is that I can't quite understand why he loves me so much still. Why he still thinks I'm so amazing and wonderful and is willing to move 3000 miles away from everything he knows... for me... this crazy, unstable, bitchy girl. I love him even more for loving me like that. But I think I am just afraid that like every other man in my life (except my dad) he is going to disappoint. He is going to realize, I am just too much too handle, too difficult, too overwhelming... and bail. I feel like that is what they have all done. I feel like that is what people at work think about me... what some of my closest (or once closest friends) think about me... even perhaps what my therapist thinks about me. I am an overwhelming nut job!! Here's what I know... I love him more than I have ever loved any person. I need him in my life. I can't wait to share the rest of my life with him. And all I can do, is hope that he thinks my quirks... my craziness, my wackiness is as cute in person, as he has for all these months over the phone. He is my soul mate... I hope he knows it, feels it, wants it, just as badly as I do.