Creating My Crazy...

Am I creating my crazy?? It's an interesting question... one posed to me tonight by my friend, well not by my friend, but by a book she was reading. Essentially it said that mental illness comes from us not being able to handle things not being perfect, or always being happy in our lives; that mental illness was really the result of us complaining about our lives being so difficult for such a long period of time, that we don't realize that no one's life is perfect. Other people are just choosing not to bitch about it everyday, instead to pick up the pieces... do the best they can and move on. It is an incredibly interesting theory. One that really has me thinking about how much of my crazy I have created. Do I think I could probably make better decisions for myself at times?? Absolutely. But do I think that my mental health would be fine if I just accepted the fact that everyone has hard times... NO FUCKING WAY. The book talked about not denying... not running away.. not hiding from problems. Well, I've done that in my life. And I can tell you right now, I am not. I am facing all of my problems, all of my issues head on. I am fighting as hard as I can, everyday, to find inner peace, to believe in myself, to love myself, to have the feeling of control over my life I so badly need, to not take things too personally, to try and let things go... I AM FIGHTING. Do I have mental illness??? It's probably one of the hardest things to say... or admit to myself, but yes. But I'm not just taking it lying down. I'm not just popping a bunch of pills and calling it a day. No, everyday I get up with the goal of being a better person. Everyday I work on making myself whole, feeling good again. And everyday, I take a step in the direction of getting off my medication. I just know it's so much easier if you are not in the glass house to throw the stones. And while I know everyone's bottom line is wanting to help... you want to know what the best help is... LOVE AND SUPPORT. It truly is that simple. Now if only I knew the cure for crazy.......